Most importantly, other people. Not the subject nor the contractor a specific role, and people. The other person gets hurt (not necessarily from the same that you have) that he is interested (not necessarily that interesting to you) that he is boring, not specifically from something, but simply as a condition which you have too. And then there is something new in relationships: listen to the desires, needs, values the other and find what makes him good and what makes him bad. Without evaluation and attempts to fix it. I call it "listening in the pose of Alyonushka". Yes, some of what you'll hear, I don't like, as they say, is not my reality. But if this is important and it is something to do with this still lives, it is easy to accept the reality of the other, just as the fact that this also exists. And then just looking for a way of communication, given that truth is not in lips of the speaker and the ears of them that hear.

the Most difficult thing in our life is an attempt to drag other into their own reality and make it a part of this reality, to give him the responsibility or the role he will be forced to perform. And this is called manipulation.

Manipulation is the use of man for their own purposes. If not reported to another that now it will use, and not dedicated to some specific method, it will be done.

Manipulation has always been, is and will be. It is not only in human relationships, it is generally in a relationship with someone alive. But unlike animals, we have a wonderful gift of speech.

We are educated people, we listen to the speech of the seller, because he is at work and he has nowhere to go; we take up did not need advertising on the street with the words "well he gets paid"... etc. not realizing that every minute involved in the manipulation. No, that stretching out his hand over the back of the positioner to say: "Look! There's a flying elephant!" and give him a run for it.

Even recognize the manipulation, without special training you will not replay. The manipulator has the ability to remember previous ways of avoiding manipulation and improved on the fact that you rejected him, and he will know what to use next time. Therefore, the most effective way Rudi!

what paymets, if you still succumb to the manipulation?

"You're to blame!"

"You hurt me!"

"You not ashamed?"

When there is guilt or shame, you need to pay attention not to struggle with these conditions, and what differences were present in the relationship, who is expected to articulate these expectations.

Anger. Creek.

When a person yells at you, no need to be angry, but better to listen to that screaming wants you to suppress.

Silence indefinitely.

that's a nice manipulation! Actually, if you understand that silence will release you a lot of time that you can do anything, and most importantly not to get stuck on the fact that someone is silent with you. Well, if it is quite hard, then leave a note and go for a walk. Or use the language of flowers, scents, also helps to relieve the manipulation of silence.

"if you love me, then..."

out of this manipulation is also simple. Silent. But if there are no forces to remain silent, to offer to play a game of who loves more and to claim your. More silence helps with a look in his eye. Says, and you look not blinking look. Breathe calmly and watch.

"if you do, then ..."

Manipulation really love the parents in dealing with children. A training "me, I you". But when the child grows up, this manipulation does not work, because no one wants to be in the role of Pinocchio.

− "no one but you..."

From this manipulation out only humor. Find duty anecdote in which this phrase is funny in a sense and use it. Helps Odessa humor.

"well, Yes, of course, you're..." sarcasm, to which many fall, because you feel a sense of depreciation.

You walk down the street, and you Sharpie offers to play cards for money. Agree? Maybe it's not. So with the manipulators. They are doing the same thing with a card cheat – go by. You understand that to cheat is very the money you want. And a manipulator, something you want. And do not even reflect what he wants. Just go past!

"are you so dressed up?" − manipulation, in which vyhvatnivtsi something insignificant and is presented as significant. The answer is easy! "You're my briefs have not seen, they are not suitable to the socks"

− the Changeling manipulation, in which the first is given the most terrible information, and then the one that had to actually skip is given as a normal fact of life. Then the latest news on the background of the horror stories that will not look so terrible.

the name of the person – the successful manipulation, when the harm of the message, before the main idea that you need to be locked, the person says your name. As a result, you do remember what was said after reciting the name. This is usually 4-5 words. By the way, this could be used if you want to give your child a task that he forgot: "I understand how hard for you, Serge, to wash the dishes after school." Your I will remember what he needs to do the dishes.

care of the situation – but not just so, and for a reason. For example, before you leave, say, "Your not relevant posture makes our conversation impossible." You can find fault with anything. To smile to curve face, to the quiet voice, long silent, rapid speech, and so on.

the counterargument is a good way to drive the manipulator. You: "Good day!", and you immediately answered: "How do you know that?" Or do you happily: "it's good that you came to us!", and you answer: "And how will this be a problem?"

However, if you don't want to be manipulated, how a card cheat, not get in the game!

you Can say: "I'm with you don't play!" and then leave. You can manage to beat out say the phrase counter-argument and leave, until he came to.

From whom come the Cup manipulation? Those who most often tries to share his good life, good fortune, advantage, plans, intelligence, in General, the fact that energy "smells good." If you had to lick with you "energy cream" you decide.

There is an amazing technique, which disables you from any energy vampire (although I always say that vampires don't exist, and prove it in practice to work with psychological burnout), and it is easier to feel in practice. But, while you have not mastered it, then look at the man, with his desires and needs. And then answer yourself the question whether you want these desires to fulfill. The honest answer to myself, and manipulation will not be because it is played by two. But if you the game is not entered, then nothing will.

an old, Old phrase: "I'm not sweetie, all is not warm". Warms yourself first, and then those who want to warm! And if you chose to heat the paddle or the vampire, then warm up to 200%, so it was hot near you!

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