The psychology of debt

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People who constantly take out loans for household needs, borrow money from friends, get into debt and then can't pay, have a similar psychology and a certain type of thinking.

 As a rule, people who live with illusions, not reality. The essence of illusion – to distort reality so as not to waste energy on changing what does not work.

 what form of home loans on a fur coat, expensive boots, trips to Turkey, etc ? How is it that the first borrow from some friends, then peredergivaete others to pay off first? And this rigmarole can take years, causing a feeling of constant background anxiety.

  typically, in this situation, people overestimate themselves in the field of income. It seems that his potential is much bigger than it is actually now. He thinks he'll get lucky. Either it will work, even if not now, then definitely in the future. Or somehow all of it to settle down and dissolve. Most importantly – “believe in yourself” and live in the here and now, driving the “bad” masli about tomorrow. This is what motivates such people.

 This is the first time. The second important point – the thirst for emotion and feeling better than you are. This usually happens when the person is not very happy with the current state of Affairs, the position occupied at the moment, but believes that in the future it will be able to fix. And then the attributes more luxurious life help such a person at least temporarily feel a little better than it really is.

Habit to get into debts to friends or the Bank – is a sign of poor personal boundaries and an inability to rely on themselves. Debt – people who like to divide a skin of not killed bear.

 In my experience people who live for years in debt, the loans, those individuals who “positive” look at yourself, life and your future and overestimating their strength and tend to want to Shine. The idea is to save money, choose a more affordable accessories, clothing, leisure, dining, gadgets they think is offensive. To live means to these people – it is to live too boring, not limiting yourself, denying yourself pleasures and to identify themselves to more poor class of people than you want. Akin to humiliation themselves, although the situation is exactly the opposite. Devaluing yourself like this happens just at the place where the person is bending over backwards to seem better than it is.

By and large, people adult understands how much he earns, what his real (not desired) the financial ability and what wallet he really has. Assessing their income adequately, relying on themselves and not on “random”, it is impossible to dig a financial hole. A healthy concern for their safety helps to avoid excessive and unnecessary costs and encourages efficient use of funds, while leaving the opportunity to buy something that brings pleasure.

  But, if a person has distorted beliefs about themselves, first and foremost, he distorted and views about its capabilities and limitations.

Money – including energy. For example, we have little energy, and want more. I want to feel more of the resource than that which we have now. And taking money in debt, we borrow it  the energy not produced yourself. At this point, we have changed the condition,  becomes more energy during loan money – what we sought,  but since it is not our energy, we quickly descend to that presernova state it was in before. And even worse. We understand that more energy to produce than steel, but already there is a debt that must be repaid. And it makes the mood worse, the energy level falls to fill and earn more than usual to pay off debts, does not work. Drawn unflattering picture of yourself in which you, instead of going up, going down. And to avoid this picture yourself, you need to take a new loan to comfort. And produces energy and financial hole from which man cannot get out of years.

In my experience, working with such cases is based on how to help the person to accept the reality of the situation and yourself honestly admit that you do not pull the lifestyle and image of yourself that you want to have. This place is a lot of resistance, disappointment in myself, but it's very useful processes to help recognize the plight of and encourage the person to take action.


2019-04-19
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