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Many fans of transactional analysis and simply fond of psychology and self-development of people know about the existence of the triangle of Karpman Bern, but few people realize that the same triangle is often played inside of a particular person.
For those who don't know and for those who forgot. The Karpman triangle represents the interaction of the people residing in three roles: the Persecutor – Rescuer – Victim. According to this triangle lining up the playing relationships between people. Each participant takes a role and maybe on this triangle to move from one role to another.
for example, take the classic family: husband, wife, child. Imagine a completely typical situation. The baby is receiving mostly good grades, the school has received a rating of "4". Comes home, tells mom about it. The classics of the genre, the mother asks: "why not "5"?" The child is confused. In fact, he knows that "4" is good, but she requires "5". Who is there to believe? Own knowledge, or mother's resentment? At this point, the role between the child and the mother as follows: mother – rival, the child – victim. Comes home the dad asks the child how was school, baby without much enthusiasm tells Pope about his achievement, connects the mother with the words: "Here. And I ask him why not "5"? And he's silent." And then, addressing the child: "What, nothing to say." And dad then come out and say: "what's wrong with the Quartet? Also quite a good estimate". Dad took his role of rescuer. Triangle ready. Further events may develop in different ways. Suppose dad starts to criticize my mom's parenting style: "you're Always all not happy! Nothing you can not please everyone! Think "four". What? Tortured a child!" gradually raising his voice, declares dad. At this point, the father from the role of rescuer goes into the role of the pursuer. Mom: "Well, I just wanted to do better." Mother becomes a victim. Of course, at this point the parents on a conscious level to pretend to care about the child. But on a hidden psychological level, find out something between them – something about not being able to speak openly, because of the proximity of their relationship, not openly, they do little to find out. After some screaming child can move into the role of rescuer and save someone at this point will be in the role of "victim". Thus, each participant can move from one role to another, and so it can last forever until someone deliberately not get out of the game. The goal is to "surrogate" reach.
But this shift in roles would not have been possible, if parallel to this foreign game was not conducted if the game is internal. So, Karpman says that inside every person lives a rescuer, persecutor and victim. And people can move from one state to another within itself. So, in our example, the child received a "4" instead of to enjoy adequate time with joy that he did the work "good", already knows that his mother is waiting for him at home with "five", and on the way home in his mind and soul is played out a certain action. His inner Stalker is starting his own business, and the child himself scolds himself: "Should have done your homework!" or "I wish I'd written off Masha, then I would have had a "5". Internal the victim says: "Well, I taught. Why this always happens to me?" And then you may receive inner rescuer: "next time you will need to make a cheat sheet!" Internal Stalker may blame others: "This Maria Ivanovna me all the time fills up!", internal, the victim may repeat: "I never to "5" such a wicked teacher." The options can be mass. And they "help" the child to move from one role to another in the outside game with their parents.

Similar scenes may play out within each of the parent. br>
is There a way out of this game? br>
Yes! No games are needed, when a person becomes capable of intimacy. And intimacy with others and with yourself. If this family was valid genuine intimacy, the situation could look like the following. The child, on the way home, realized what my feelings of appreciation "good". When he got home, he would have told mom about this event, and mom would wonder what the child is feeling in this regard. The child would know that it is entitled to any feelings. He could be upset over something that received a "4" and would be really happy about it. And about all these feelings he can tell mom and know that will be adopted. The same with dad. And would not spend a lot of effort into this inner dialogue between my inner persecutor, rescuer and victim, and will direct their resources in a constructive way. For example, in the analysis of errors that led to the downgrade. br>
And then wouldn't need mom and dad to sort things out among themselves, using the child as an excuse. They could discuss what is between them is wrong. For example, the husband might say: "You know, today when I came home, it seemed to me that you're upset, and I had the idea that you're not happy to see me. Could you tell me what really happened?" The explanation could be very different. And the couple would be something to talk about and clarify relationships and situations that ultimately made them closer. the
Game generate game, and the proximity generates more intimacy. br>
Reach You! :)

2013-07-12
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