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1. WHAT IS the PATS AND WHY THEY are NEEDED FOR the FAMILY
PoglejIvana is a unit of social recognition.

to understand this concept, you must know that every man in his development since birth has two needs:
1) thirst stimulus – we need to know that we are needed and we need to be sure that you can send someone your incentives.
2) thirst recognition – we need to get on your incentive response.

2. WHAT ARE the PATS:
- BEZULOVNO (such strokes are just like that, without producing any conditions to the person for its very existence, without any evaluation of his behavior);
- OSLOVNS (such strokes are given for something, for some conditions, merit, evaluation of the behaviour);

- POSITIVE (positive color);
- NEGATIVE (have a negative connotation or defending);
- VERBAL (transmitted through words);
- VERBAL (transmitted via gestures, actions, breath, glance);
- PLASTIC (PU) – flattery, strokes, which account for from a "squeeze". br>
EXAMPLES:
Unconditional
"hi! I'm glad to see you!",
"I love you!",
"Thank you for what you are."

"I hate you!".

Conditional, Positive, Verbal /
"Thank you that washed the dishes"
"Good, got an a!",
"you Have beautiful eyes"
"You look great!",
"You dance beautifully".

ConditionalPositive, non-Verbal –

the Handshake for a job well done, a friendly high-five.

Conditional, Negative, Verbal /
Negative connotation
"You're so stupid!",
"you never will!",
"You're so inconsiderate!",
"Well, you niraja!"
Protect the skin:
"Stop swinging on that chair! You might fall!",

"don't drink the water big gulps!"

Conditional, Negative, Nonverbal –
Mom frowned or sighed disapprovingly, that kid experiments

3. The THEORY of SAVING STROKES
we Have one problem – it often happens that we are not able to exchange strokes!
This complexity comes from our childhood (like many others), because in every family adults, do not even know what the pats develop certain rules (or learn the rules that they were taught by their own parents), and forced them to follow their children, which hamper them in later life.

these "RULES" (wrong color!):

the First rule

don'T GIVE STROKES WHEN YOU WANT THEM to! (i.e. not human praise, otherwise he will think that you flatter. It without your approvalknow hit is good)

the Second rule

don'T ASK for STROKES WHEN YOU NEED THEM! (If you will give at your request, you will be the rest of his life to that person something is required).

the Third rule

don'T ACCEPT STROKES IF YOU WANT THEM, AND GIVE THEM to YOU! (Even if you offer them, anyway, then it will have to pay. "Give a penny, and give the ruble will have to!")

Fourth rule

do NOT DESPISE the PATS, IF YOU don'T WANT! (If you offer a "from the heart", but you don't like it, you can't refuse. Then they want to do something good, and you will have no give.)

Fifth rule

don'T LET ABSORPTIONJIVANI YOURSELF NEVER, IN NO CASE, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES (And that's generally worthless. A shame!)


!All of these "rules" you need to get rid of the particle "not" in order to feel good!

4. HOW CAN I GET PATS
• Just so, nothing for it without doing (just being)
• Earn (something to do)
• Ask (others do not have to guess and guessing is what you want)
• ZAMPAGLIONE (he does not praise, no praise)

2014-05-08
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