Feelings - my friends or my enemies, what is valuable or what should be afraid?
My feelings I shouted that I was uncomfortable with this man. When I talk about what is important to me or that I hurt our relationship, he ignores it and pretends I didn't say anything, continues to do what he came for. I feel pain, surprise, disappointment, I stop for a moment, feel the impulse to leave, but continue to walk, to laugh at his jokes. What I felt doesn't matter, he's not paying attention. I kind of "strange", just react to those feelings. He is so smart, behaving the "right" way.
after a while I find myself in a situation where he suddenly disappears from my life, stop calling, writing. I am lost. Again the relationship was over? Am I not worth at least the message that he decided not to continue. I'm in pain. Again, the same thing happened.
that was if I followed my feelings before? Took it as a signal that I feel bad in such a relationship? Then I made decide if I want to stay in the relationship? To be honest with myself? To deal with the fact that my behavior can someone do not like?
Or when I get angry comments and teachings of my mother, I tell myself that she's right, I don't know any better. I forget that this is my life. It can be something right and something wrong. But I didn't ask her advice, when she suddenly starts to tell me how to live. br>
And if we imagine the story of my life a little differently. I react on my feelings, analyzing them, learning to understand what they tell me and to consider it in the future (in its decision, behavior, thoughts). Then I can notice when I become uncomfortable in relationships when I feel pain, sadness, anger. I tell my boyfriend that his words touched me. If I see his lack of attention to my words, and it just keeps repeating that I understand that probably this is not my man. We build our relationship in very different ways, and my feelings tell me this. If I value my feelings and take them into account, then I finish the relationship if I feel bad or continue if you feel joy and interest to the person. I'm not waiting for him to finish the relationship, because I think that he knows better and trust myself.
If I don't get scared of their feelings, I know that my anger gives me strength and energy to act to protect its interests, territory, their opinions, anything your. I don't follow it blindly, beginning to show anger as soon as it arose. But try to hear what she wants to warn me. And when mom unexpectedly teaches me, has almost reached 30 years, I know that my incipient annoyance informs about the violation of my boundaries. I can gently to protect their personal space, switching her attention to something else. And my irritation goes away.
When suddenly I feel sorrow, I know that it gives me the opportunity to survive the loss. It may be the loss of unfulfilled expectations: I waited a long time to travel, but because of the sudden cold must all cancel. And it makes me really sad that there will be joy and pleasure from the adventure. But I'm not afraid of this feeling. I give him the opportunity to be in me to emerge, and gradually it goes away, dissolves.
My feelings become my friends and helpers. I learn to understand their messages and see their concern. Although sometimes it's not easy, and you just want to get away from them, be relegated to the back closet. But I know that I can't run away from yourself, and that the closet remains inside my world. In it I will be more comfortable with friends))
the Dialogue of the author with a inspired by the dialogues of the practice.
Your Natalie Frid