for the First time with the global lack of understanding of women I encountered about 20 years. And the situation was such... I had a good friend, well, just great, damn it! Yes, we all have our faults, but he was quite little, with a lot of advantages. "So why? Why is he single?" - I asked myself. And the male friends he had had enough, but women are in short supply. The relationships with women that he positively began always ended with the same sad outcome, the frustration, the pain, retraumatization and less positive view of the future.
I once told this friend of the woman and decide to debate, they say, what's the matter? Why? Want to deeply understand this issue. In the end, all came to nothing, because we did not understand each other because we had different views on some things. Imagine that we both look at the table, but I'm on the side, and you on top. I tell you that without legs he will fall and you tell me "What legs? I don't like his color." And Yes, you don't like the color, because the top of the legs is not visible.
in Short, I was upset and already scored on this Maspalomas question. And only recently I rehabilitated my interest in it and found the answer. Still 10 years in psychotherapy, were not in vain. But, you know, what's the paradox? My answers turned out to be a complete cliché, written everywhere, just haven't been able to understand it so deeply as now.
first, the woman's safety is important. Yes, I know you've already read it. But it is, and it's true. But usually this really means about the same as in my example with a table. The word "security" in the context of relationships with women, misunderstood by men as it is that he has so strong a defender, can anyone fill face for the family, make a million, and so on. In reality, the security means that you (man) shall consistently present in her life. So you can be completely non-fighting character and weak mentally and physically. But due to the fact that you consistently present in her life, she can fall in love with you and want to be with you. Even if you are far from her ideal. Because this thing is women's value and women's understanding of safety. Therefore, a lot of couples where the quite interesting and attractive woman chooses not especially successful in different areas, but stable, always present in her life man.
at the same time you can have a super cool macho man, smart, beautiful, successful, strong, wealthy. And women will be admiring to look at you and...don't want a relationship. To be afraid of. At the same time, mind you, men will look at you with envy and admiration and want relationship! Because you're cool and listed in their hierarchy. Women, of course, also be reaching out to you, but just their main motivation will not be a relationship with you and your resources. As they say, feel the difference.
let's Move on to the second point. It's sex. This thread I'm even afraid to touch publicly, because here people have different deposits repressed taboos of energy. As one of the friends of the coaches: "People do anything, just not sex." In General, the meaning here is, that sex for women is not the same as sex for men, although they seem to with each other they do. For women sex is an opportunity to trust you. Without trust there will be no sex, or rather it can be, but then he will be no. For her, for sure. It is not in the full sense be called "sex." A woman can do this out of fear, but something closer to a legitimate form of rape. It's not about the fun.
For men sex is not about trust, but about grip. About the opportunity to take something. He, like, takes a woman and in the process even more excited. But the woman takes the man. It doesn't work. She is not excited about this place.
and so on. There can be another three to distribute, but the post is absolutely great turn out. The most important thing to not understand the points, and the point that I'm trying to convey and the image from which I now write a text.
Try using these lines to be a woman and you will be able to continue it. To shift the focus. Peeling from their point of view and try to look on the table not on the side and top just for fun and curiosity. Then, perhaps, in a world of your relationship will begin to change!
All the luck and love! :)