"When she was 26 years old, everyone around her felt obliged to remind her that every year she's not getting any younger, and would have time to "make" children. The time is coming – "tick tock... tick tock". At first she laughed at the expressions of parents. Then it began to get angry comments from your friends about that time, and the work is all blank – main kids. But the last point, knocks her off balance, was the comments of her husband that "you're wrong about children do not think, and I want a raccoon...". And now the moment you've all wanted – she had anxiety. She was worried that she was 26 years old and has no children have, and she needs time to "make" them. After all, everybody says so, and she herself has long ceased to hear the many voices and opinions of others."
the Moment when a man and a woman decide they are ready for children, very important. And the importance of it is a conscious decision that they are both ready for the child, which will appear in their already established family unit, enhance family field, with the consequent change in the energy distribution. This is an exciting moment for every family, every person. The moment when your picture of the world there is someone who depends on you (at least the first year – that's for sure).
And there is a big question about how to understand what I want. How do you know that I'm ready or willing. Nowadays social norms and attitudes exert great pressure on the woman, telling her about: when it's time for her to have children; how many it is necessary to produce; how to take care of them later; how to behave as a "mother" and so on and so forth. The woman entrusted with a great responsibility. Because it comes out of his habitual course of life, "losing" for some time, their individuality, while in fusion with the child. Thus, while in fusion, it is necessary to uniformly pay attention to the husband, to look good quickly lose weight after giving birth, and then a full return in usual life, being a functional person. Agree, for someone quite a frightening picture, which not everyone will want to "subscribe". The picture is frightening due to the fact that requirements have changed women as if they ceased to be private, and common. "Biological destiny" is a very rude phrase. It is important a sincere desire, despite the difficulties, inconveniences, fundamental changes, to do anything for the sake of the future of a small piece of happiness.
I Once had a client who came to the period of "time to time... it is high time to give birth," although in fact she was only 30 years old. She came to me in a state of nervous tension caused by prosterous experiences. Outwardly successful woman working in a good firm and time-consuming; its mortgage on the property; my husband and been together a long time – a good relationship, a hobby in your free time. I mean, superficially acquainted with it, it can be assumed that the successful and modern woman. The context of messages, admired her life and thoughts – "Yes, I lived...". But the emotional background was a concern – for some reason, listening to it, I had anxiety, I started to feel anxious, not knowing the cause. As it turned out in the consultation process, a job she loved, through her tears there. It wants to change, having gone nowhere and quietly looking for a place where she would find interesting, not just to make money. Agree – already busy and existential choice for her. But the appear in her life more stressful situation is the fact that her husband believes the transition stupidity, because she had to go on maternity leave from that place for good maternity benefits. And even the client on the one hand was in this agreement. And here she stood before the choice which determined her future life to seek a dream job and develop professionally, what she longed or modify it where she didn't like waiting for maternity leave, taking care of the kids, and then grow them to start their careers.
My client was in a state of paralysis – she was afraid to make any actions in order not to disturb the stable life, even despite the fact that she didn't like. She didn't know what to do, as both put pressure on her bigger pressure in the Mariana trench. In all this tension she had forgotten herself and what she wants, where she sees herself. Like due to the fact that the choice was very serious and vital, she had no right to think about yourself.
our Work started with the fact that she tried through the differentiation of feelings, sublimated to Express the negative energy that had accumulated in it owing to the communication with all the people who "knew better how she should live." Expressing resentment and anger at her husband and parents. Responding bitterness about what she wants to say goodbye to work. Perhaps even feeling angry at themselves that "it is not correct this", "recognizing" it and "forgiving" of herself, she was able to move on – were able to breathe a full breast.
the Next moment was a conscious appeal to the self – selection of all the dominant feelings and sensations arising in relation to this situation. The creation of the painting "My world" with the clarification, and whether if I'm ready to let someone into my world – if I'm ready to change the picture of your life without feeling excessive discomfort, Deplete me.
the Main point of the work was also the cultivation of internal resources aimed at defending its position in relation to others.
What ended the job will not disclose. But the main point was that the client was aware of what she wants, what she's ready, and what not.
I believe that we are all different, we can't live on a schedule, to follow the norm. We may not want the same thing. And it's scary to change your life, learn to separate the love between family members, "giving" to each an equal portion of happiness. Each for himself the time when he will be ready, because with his choice of life into us and not our loved ones. I am for freedom of choice. Do as you see fit. Relax in the moment desire to please everyone is impossible. What matters is that you and your life loved only you.