On the tyranny of debt for the first time spoke Karen Horney - a prominent American psychologist. All childhood and youth Horney has lived in anxiety and doubt, which concerned her appearance.
Horney considered herself unattractive woman, and after a while decided to compensate his "lack". "Because I couldn't be beautiful, I decided to be smart" (Rubins, 1978), was recognized Karen Horney.
She suffered from depression and had attempted suicide.
According to who, every year 800 000 people worldwide commit suicide. For every suicide there are many more people who attempt suicide. 79% of suicides occur in countries with low and middle income.
Search for the word "shall" or "must"
Back to the tyranny of debt, which said Horney. There is no reason not to trust her, she knew what he's talking about.
an Internal regulation many people have a violent nature.
American psychologist and cognitive therapist albert Ellis said that under any alarm situation, depression and other emotional problems you should always look for the word "should" and "must".
He allocates 3 destructive attitudes, which lead to emotional problems and disorders:
1. I have
2. You have
3. I have
let us Examine these settings in more detail.
- should I
I have to do something well and/or to obtain the approval of important people to me, but otherwise I'm good for nothing people.
2. You have
You have to treat me carefully and fairly, you have no right to disappoint or upset me, otherwise you are a bad person.
3. I have
I want to be provided those things and those conditions of life that I want to have, I must be protected from all the trouble, otherwise life becomes intolerable.
the Tyranny of debt
Install "I have", "you", "I should" provoke anxiety and depression, because it is based on irrational beliefs.
the Little girl grows up and sees that the key is visual appeal, which guarantees women's success in life. Beautiful appearance ensures life in a better quality conditions. Beautiful appearance opens a lot of possibilities. Through a successful and wealthy man, of course. Good looks guarantee success in men and the ability to choose who will provide the woman a good life.
"I must be beautiful/skinny" - begins a woman.
Over time, the woman understands that genetics or Constitution do not agree with this setup, and there is a gap between expectation and reality. All this is deeply worrying.
Most overweight people suffer from clinical depression and anxiety disorders. It can be assumed that anxiety in the problem primary.
a Woman trying to lose weight what it pushes the tyranny of debt, because it "must be attractive", that only reinforces already strong concern. As you know, weight loss could be negligible a small percentage of people, and even smaller to save weight. Therefore, the continuous tyranny of debt. Sooner or later the point of view focuses only on the weight and its control.
let us Examine irrational installation in the example with a woman.
- I should
a Woman decides that "needs to be sexually attractive to the opposite sex." Otherwise it will not receive the good things of life.
2. You have
the Woman was convinced that if she was beautiful and attractive, all people need to treat it accordingly and do what she wants and what she deserves.
3. I have
the Woman was convinced that the mere presence of a beautiful, attractive appearance should guarantee her the love and success in life. The appearance should help to attract the right man, who will have to give her what she wants and what, in her opinion, deserve it.
Failure and anxiety
Real life is different from the irrational attitudes of people. The only thing that gives the feeling of duty, it is a disturbing and emotional disorders.
it is Important to understand its necessity and to change these settings. To rationalize them.
for Example: "I would like to be slim and attractive and to meet a good man. But if this does not happen, I can live with it."
Or: "I'd like to open a business quickly and earn a lot of money. But if I fail, I die and try something else."
This is radically different from: "I must be slim, otherwise I won't meet a secure man. Then I will be forced to work for herself and live in poor conditions. I can't take it! I deserve all the best."
This view of things leads only to frustration and depression.
Follow the advice of albert Ellis: in any anxiety and depressive situation search for your "should" and "must".