To beat or not to beat? Double standards.


parents often raise the question about the relationship between children, which is that you can not. And among them often the question arises: "you Can or cannot fight?", "And to give change?", "But to defend themselves using physical force?", etc.

In response to these questions at the parents born: "Girls can not be beat!", "It is impossible to solve conflicts with fists, but the language on that? We are people, not animals!" etc.

And here emerges a standard situation – a garden, a scuffle and a child received from someone, crying, at home complaining. And mom telling it, boiling her child hurt! No matter, the boy did it or a girl! And then born the following conclusions – "Oh, even better beats than him!" or "I will go and ka-and-AK will deal with all! Will know how my baby be hurt!".

If we watch children, we find – that to defend themselves through violence is the first reaction that they get. The interaction between mom and baby is also filled with clumsy movements of the child, which can be described as biting, strikes his palm over his face, pulling hair, pinching. The child learns to interact and aggressive acts to help him in this. Over time, the parent learns to stroke her face, not to beat, kiss, not to bite. And still in the sandbox in the struggle for the bucket, someone will hit the opponent's blade to the head. But will he continue to bend the line of interaction depends on the parents and their attitudes and personal example.

And for whom a child is really becoming the norm of interaction. The boy in front of us or a girl – still, when it comes to protecting yourself, your property. Let's leave the differences to etiquette.

Teach the child to stop the violence, facing in his direction – the task of parents, if we don't want to raise the victim. There are many ways to hold or restrain, without causing physical injury. Strike back is an extreme reaction.

If the child learn to handle their emotions, show him respect, and parent is the figure of a caring, reliable and dominant – to cause pain to other people the child doesn't deliver any pleasure. Because many parents are afraid that if allowed to defend themselves physically, then it will not be able to stop his child and grown a sort of a brawler.

Sooner or later, but in this trap of double standards get the majority of parents always there is a family in which violence is the norm of interaction and a child with active vocabulary and high diplomacy runs the risk not to have time to use them.

P. S. in Any case do not claim to truth in the last instance. Rely only on your knowledge of psychology, personal experience and the experience of their customers. Don't forget about the individuality of ages and specific cases. I'm not "for" the use of physical force, I would rather "against" double standards.

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