As one of the markers of its own dysfunctional States can be: any topic you can speak with his parent (mom, dad). Imagine to start your internal dialogue about something with the parent. What do you hear from parents? What do you feel? Do freely be in a dialogue with him? Do not be ashamed, do not regret later to tell him about something? Like, what emotions react to what you hear from him?
In such dialogs you'll:
to prove something
— to defend
— ask for support, love, respect,
require pleading for adults acceptance.
All of these action verbs you can feel through your own feelings, because the direct meaning, and such words and expressions you never say neither myself nor the parent. And this is your problem. You feel like you're not having conversations with the parent, and live, proving, justifying, demanding, etc., wasting HIS life and not understanding — why you can't do something in life, don't understand why can't handle their excess weight, why in your life there are different destructive for you actions and so on. In General, you never came out of this childhood or adolescence, were not psychologically for ADULTS at some parts of ourselves. And this we can tell our feelings. They need to learn to recognize, learn to call them words, in other words, transfer them from your unconscious into awareness.
If you find such topics you can't talk to a parent, it means that you have some inner conflict, your inner freedom, which will create yours, in a sense, destructive behavior for you in your life situations, at first glance, in General, not related to the parent.
Himself is in itself difficult to see, to recognize the deep emotional processes that we talk about some of our unmet psychological needs.
you always Have the opportunity in this case to consult a specialist. After all, if you have a toothache, you go to the dentist. But as an option you can tolerate the pain, if it is not very strong, or take a painkiller to reduce the pain sensation.
But to teach yourself to notice your feelings, and describe your condition you can start at any time now. For this you have to do now is your decision and start to act.
Learn to live with pleasure, not endlessly struggling with the world.