To listen to others? To hear yourself!


From session to session, we talked about how important it is to a man “to hear themselves”. The Marina did not hear neither himself nor others, not even me. And sometimes not only in a figurative sense: after frequent otitis as a child she was hearing impaired.

finally I got it!

a kid At the Marina strictly followed mom. Not to say that everything is banned, but the views of the Marina especially were not interested. Not asked in some circles wants to have a girl. Not even asking if she wants to eat food in such volume in which the mother considered necessary, focusing on the “norm”: “all”.  mom came quite a lot of directives.

Mom could talk about what she wants from the Marina, from Marininova father, from his colleagues. Could talk about their desires, preferences, intentions. That, in her opinion, the “good” and that “bad”. Mom could... And Marina - no!

she could hear. In the literal sense. The girl was having hearing problems, ear infections and other amenities. Where's the surprise? Can't hear her – and she will not. Physical pain is unpleasant-but it at least treated. But emotional pain is not treated, because they do not notice. Not notice as well as not listen to her wishes. Well… So she'll stop noticing other people's desires.

Then Marina grew up, got married, her daughter was born. The mother could not listen.

But Marina continued not to listen to others. Not listened to them. Didn't understand what they want. What is important to them. What they say to her.

I have Not heard anyone, except my daughter. More specifically, in addition to her desires.

I Think daughter and she could not understand what she wants – as Marina rushed to do it. Almost no restrictions. Daughter's wish – all that matters!

a Complete contrast with my own childhood Marina.

She was doing for her daughter what she was deprived. And, as usual, doing excessive… the extreme – in extreme… Continuing not to listen to others… ultimately depriving the daughter of the possibility of really anything to want…

In this story, as is customary, the name is changed, the details are omitted. But history - the real, the true.

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