the

they Say that God gives daughters that we learn to understand women, and gives sons to learn to understand men.

I don't know who came up with the share of women by category "woman-mistress, girl, mistress, etc”. I'd in search of truth to debate with the author. And can with full confidence say that either this theory does not interpret everything correctly or this popular version is no good!

And in the consultations, and in daily conversation, I can hear the frightened exclamations of women: “I'm not going to be his mommy!

the Logic is this: if I'm husband to do something resembling maternal care or custody, he will treats me as a mom, then stop with me to have sex and eventually you will find “a female mistress”.

I never claimed to be a guru in the matter of gender relations. Not going to redraw someone else's truth. But just share your thoughts and experience in this matter.

Start with Freud. "Every meaningful Relationship we build, borrowing the model of their first relationship, with my mom! Or the person who performed this function".

I Translate from Russian on psychoanalytic "to Be in a relationship so committed to that location, which is recorded in our subcortex in early childhood! And there is no need to raise the memory of long-lost facts to know “what IT's LIKE to really love!”

This blissful feeling we remember and without memories. Moreover, any close relationship we unconsciously seek to return this precious experience.

This applies to both women and men. So, deliberately depriving her man of all "flammable", that is, parent (affection and care), we dig a hole for happy relationships, depriving them of any hope of a possible intimacy.

the Man gets hungry and he goes on in search of “food” (affection, attention, good look, support, hearty soup, sex, massage, praise, etc.). This is normal. As the saturation of hunger is a basic need, the basis of physiology of any person.

Back to sons.

I personally took a long time to recognize in which “food”, in the literal and figurative sense, require my kids. One son is vegetarian, the other meat-eaters. do Not forget that each of us is unique! One can not live without massage, the other without bedtime stories, the third, without conspicuous sign of approval “you're done, I'm proud of, loved, appreciated, thank you”.

a Kind word and a cat is nice. But every cat Needs some special word, and it will take time and effort to understand, to understand, to ask.

the Most banal, is not to guess but to ask: “do you feel that you are loved?”, “and when and how do you feel?”. Note to the reader: “the Mutual needs of each other - have a Mature Relationship.”

Myth two "I'm gonna spoil him and he will treat consumer!”

Not true! Every child, and daughter and son, dream!!!! To their mother was the happiest! Sad, tired or dissatisfied mother is a broken heart of any child. I will not argue, just go back to your childhood.

Transferring this story on marriage: “Every man wants his wife happy!!!”

But!!! “explain to her husband HOW to MAKE YOU HAPPY! Not to devalue the work and effort! Not to put the MAN in advance impossible tasks!”- the responsibility of women.

Very often we find self projected on husbands. the ‘Deep childhood traumas, chronic feeling of necinnosti, low self-esteem, inability to accept love and care” we throw out on the table, and erect an insuperable barrier among themselves and a harmonious relationship.

Unresolved internal conflicts are projected, turn into accusations and unreasonable demands on a partner. It irreversibly deprives the relationship of joy and pleasure.

the Inner man and inner woman. Inner child.

Our mind is not a uniform material. Is sophisticated multidimensional structure. Every woman has some masculine qualities. And each man the lives of his female essence. From that, how much we are friends with different facets of his inner self, with its "inner Child", "inner man" and "feminine", depends on the quality of our relationships with others.

If I keep challenging myself - I will be strict with children. If I don't allow myself to fully relax - I'll pick on the wife.

If I'm not friends with my inner man, I'll be projecting it onto her husband and beat him to the shortcomings.

I Think from the core, it's all) Go to psychotherapy and appreciate each other! Thank you for your attention!

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2019-04-03
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