the Second half, Yin and Yang, swans soaring together, high above the sinful earth, the wolf and his wolf - the one for life...the Duality of love - one of the most reverent, beautiful nature phenomena. We are all looking for "that", or "the one" to share my life with, to give my love,and feel loved and most importantly - unique. The only favorite.
How can that be with such a phenomenon like love to one person?
"you Just really don't love anyone."- they are usually called in response.
But why ?
Nobody questioned that to build friendships, to love several times in life. No surprise that five years ago, for example, I loved Alexander, and today can not live without Valentina. No one will argue if he says "I fell in love with another." But if you say- "I love two"- for some reason this will cause a terrible resonance in the society. Most likely, such a woman will be referred to simply as "immoral".
Take, for example, the main character of the film "Autumn marathon", is very nice to me Andrey Buzykin. Can we call it behavior - promiscuity, immorality? No.He really loved his wife,his mistress, in different ways, of course. But to choose one is always means from someone to give. To cause someone pain. To hurt himself. Is it easy to get from someone you love? Hero Basilashvili suffers,and his suffering with sympathy,not condemnation.
Or a hero of Oleg Yankovsky in a film "the Lover". His wife, who at thirty years dies of a heart attack, gives me extreme empathy. She was leading a double life not because they were "bad", "wrong" or "immoral". She just loved two men. So different, so opposite to each other. And this split destroyed,first and foremost, herself.
Or "Military-the field novel". Intelligent hero Nicholas burljaeva "loses his head" after a meeting with the unmatched Andreichenko. Which is the complete opposite of his wife, Inna Churikova. And to which it pulls so strong and compelling that they start the real novel. A real love. But is it becoming in this regard, the love for his wife - less? Not at all, and the sincerity of feelings of the hero no doubt, and I will rise a lot of sympathy for him.
I have read Sefana Zweig, in the story "a Fantastic night" a wonderful phrase- "..And once they've understood the human in himself, understands all men."
For me, it's about making your own is not ideal. It's about accepting your shadow.( Psychologists will understand). And that in life anything can happen.
That's just what to do with it?
a consultation on such question turn quite often. All so individually,that single recipe "brew chamomile drink before bedtime - week pass," definitely not. Every case is unique. Most often the "third" in the relationship appears when between the two appears in the distance. The distance is psychological. When there are unspoken resentment, accumulated dissatisfaction, when about his feelings is not to say, when the needs of one are ignored. Yes, the impossible love to another, very often hides a long-standing grudge against his partner. It so happens that the love of someone one does not satisfy the need to love in General, at all. For example, a woman needs to feel the ease and spontaneity, and partner is too pragmatic and dry. Then, after some time, there is "an irresistible craving for another", because with the others, the woman feels that she needs like the air - the ease and spontaneity. It so happens that next to one man, "convenient, quiet,comfortable," and the other "passion, feeling," and that in this case there is "love" and what need is more important - to feel, or to be grateful - it's up to the person who asked for help.
If You are experiencing something similar,do not rush to put a diagnosis "I'm crazy". Everything that happens to us is normal. In the end, only culture and society puts us to the framework- "as it should be", "how", and what - not. Everything has a place. And there is no "good" and "bad". Just love to two very often "freeze up" , the person hung up on this situation,does not go further. Life as if hangs on pause, and however it goes, moving. Just like without us. And this perspective of "love triangles", of course, it is better to leave.
the Main thing-all solved. Sometimes it is important to find the cause,and then everything falls into place. Sometimes to deal with the needs. Sometimes letting go of a past that is no longer necessary today. Even while continuing to love. After all, if love is a need, no one You will ever take.