To save for the benefit


I Think each of us psychologists, in life there are times when we are asking our friends, relatives or colleagues that we advised something. And not just advised, and consulted their friends, and in absentia, not seeing, not hearing, receiving information from the distorted subjective interpretations.

Understanding that psychologists do not work this way with people and can't help someone who is in a difficult situation, but he's not talking to the specialist, comes not at once.

And then we can explain to our friends and acquaintances some of the nuances of the profession, with the result that often open new sides of our loved ones, associated with the desire to help others, to be a lifeguard for one person or another, but in the end it turns out that the relationships have turned to us friends and their relatives are highly toxic.

a couple of examples. Just a couple of days from two different friends, I heard requests for assistance. This synchronism, as between these two don't even know.

First event concerns the colleagues of my friend. Girl needs help, but she's not talking to the psychologist, but constantly reads the prayers, sitting in the office, attracted the attention of the crying and very specific behavior (tantrums, demonstrative protozoacidal nature).
Second scenario is about a close friend of my buddy. A psychologist does not appeal, even does not want to hear about our colleagues. Beat up his girlfriend for cheating. Worried.
And in this case my task is to bring the friends to a realization of their request to me, and to help them to cope with the situations.

the fact that empathic, prone to compassion and empathy for people, which is what my friends, the really tough side of these people, trying to help them from the heart. However, despite the good will, often in the emotional trap of trying to go through the pain and the feelings that pour out of them surrounding person.

Like the desire to help due to some attitudes and stereotypes, including as due to the emotional makeup of the individual , and some features of parenting (the desire to be good for everyone, the desire to please, etc.).

So wanting to save a person who is experiencing a severe shock, you must understand its purpose for him. But not in this distortion, as "I will now go to a psychologist tell him all, and he (she) will give me advice and I will use them and definitely will save my friend", and in a more constructive direction.

"Yes, I will ask the psychologist to understand how I can help this man?" . And then builds a somewhat different, more objective picture, allowing to shed light on some of the nuances of these relationships.

"Yes, I will help you! I'm not an expert, and you need professional help. My advice can be disastrous for you. so better take the decision to get rid of many problems of concern to you...". And people extended a helping hand, leads to a specialist, knowing that in this case the only way out, but only if the awareness of this need in need of assistance...

Arkhangelsk Nadezhda
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