I call Toxic people, who not only are in a bad mood, but also pulled in all the others, depriving them of energy and peace. You face them? I,YES!
And here's what I can tell: the ability to cope with such people, or at least the consequences of their actions – one of the basic skills that I teach my students and clients. of
The threat of toxic people and how to define
Toxic people create stress. First they inflate the conflict, and after that, all participants are subjected to stress because conflicts are toxic to pad able. And I'm sure that they are scary, because stress is the main obstacle to achieving goals, success and healthy relationships.
Stress makes us vulnerable, makes you take wrong decisions, to be afraid and nervous. He never gives us a rest, to sleep. Stress directly affects the body, the desire to use psychoactive substances, causes heart problems, headaches, insomnia and many more.
To cope with toxic people, they need to be isolated from the total mass. Most have the basic and highly characteristic signs:
* self-centeredness. The man talks only about himself, others he is not interested;
* envy, and in the most simple questions;
* inability to empathize and sympathize;
* a constant desire to get involved in the conflict;
* negative view of the world.
Sometimes the signs are mild, in this case, a person can fully communicate. But most often one or two points from the list turn the conversation into a nightmare. Most people who are faced with toxic friends, colleagues, loved ones, feel the following:
* cheating and unsaid. Almost all of the other party has to pull ticks. He's not talking about his inner world, to direct questions gives ambiguous answers;
* helplessness and powerlessness. The interviewee does not want to make contact, moves away from you;
* a desire to serve, to please, but also permanent alertness in communication;
* the depletion and drop in energy level after contact.
Relationships with toxic people is a huge separate layer that is difficult to discuss in one article. Sometimes when I look at these people, I think how it was possible to enter into a relationship with such a person. But anything can happen. During a long communication happens as if "poisoning". It is characterized by the following points:
* constant life drama, and you get involved into it without their own desire;
* you are angry or feel exhausted, you feel guilty or ashamed;
* are you constantly trying to fix people, to rescue care, but nothing changes;
* you have to explain your solution from point to point, and still you will always be wrong;
* do you feel that you are in control, or you start to control other people.
How to deal with toxic people
There are several basic strategies that must be followed in dealing with toxic people, be it colleagues or relatives. It all depends on what kind of person you encountered.
Strategy 1. Stop communication
the easiest way to stop getting under the influence of a toxic person – delete it from your life. Sometimes it's hard to do, especially if we are talking about relatives. All relatives will be telling us that aunt means well, or that sister needs help. But every time you have the desire to listen to them, remember that you will harm yourself and your family.
Strategy 2. Define the borders of
it is Not always possible to just walk away from communication with a colleague or a relative. Try the other way: be clear about the distinction between the topics that you are discussing, and some are not. Never say to the toxic person about the individual, and if he asks the question – gradually move away from him or otshuchivayas. If you are not afraid of a local conflict, tell them it's none of his business. Do not attempt to listen to the complaints that poured on you from such a friend. To stop the flow is easy, just ask how he would solve the problem.
Strategy 3. Distancing
most Often the toxic personality is absolutely illogical. Do not attempt to unravel or explain behaviour from the point of view of common sense. Keep your distance. Try to look at this person from the side, not joining in what he says. This strategy can still be called "smile and wave". These actions are often the easiest way to avoid waste of effort and energy from contact with such a source. Don't forget that your focus on what your interlocutor is strange and inappropriate, just gives him power over you. No need to think and analyze, just looking for a way to get out of the situation unscathed.
to Deal with toxic people is not possible is a fall expensive. And to get out of the relationship with them is even harder. But it is quite possible, however, sometimes requires professional help. And yet spent the effort is worth it: once you learn how to deal with toxic people your life will change.
Let your life will not be toxic people and toxic relationships. Don't poison yourself!
About yourself, it is important to take care of yourself it is important to choose. the
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