We have forgotten that "normal" relationship is trust and understanding two adults, emotionally independent people. With their goals, plans, self-interest, and something that became a link. Love is friendship. Even more. But...
Every second one of us is subjected to domestic violence. Every second of them does not understand that this violence, and it is abnormal. We are beaten, raped, sexually or psychologically, bring the emotions up, and then come again. And we are back at work. This is another work, which we trust that our boyfriend or husband, our girlfriend or wife. We become pawns of a vicious circle.
It is not "beautiful" relationship from the movies. It is a painful slavery. Please note on the diagram. "Infusion" is exactly what is 4 step. It can be incredible sex gifts, real help, freedom (indulgence of your whims), money. And you think - well, not that bad. Or more precisely - not thinking what happened differently.
You warm hope. The hope that he (she) will one day behave differently. Not to be cruel or hard, to behave "correctly" from your point of view. But... no. It won't be. Because it never was.
We live with this for years. This is codependency. Codependent relationships. Abuse. And we justify, make excuses. We say girlfriend, my mother and leave this man. And we... I hope. I hope that tomorrow will be different. But somewhere deep inside we know the answer to the question "will there ever be?". Very often we become rescuers for them, forgetting about yourself. We see someone's image. And if we discard this attachment from a person that absolutely nothing will remain. We wanted a beautiful fairy, wearing a shiny suit on a straw Scarecrow and began to wait for the invitation to the ball.
it hurts Me to look at it all. I myself have experienced such relationships. My feet took me into this trap, fortress. Carried. The mind understood, and heart - like on the chain. But I found a way out. And continue to work with it. From codependency can be "cured". br>