I continue to talk about the most common issues parents come to therapy to understand and accept your teen . The first part of the article here https://www.b17.ru/article/vopros-o-podrostkah
3. How to get it from the Internet?
- the need to have a private space, closed from the control of parents.(To develop freedom of action and choice);
- lack of attention of parents (Children at any age think parents ' main source of information. If a teenager can't communicate with you, he's looking for the answers is available online.);
- simplified socialization (Screen simplifies the contact, making the teenager boldly gives a huge audience to promote and develop their I);
- interest to find a common language with other people, including foreign languages. (Especially manifested this desire in online gaming );
-the relief of emotional stress ( This applies to computer games. Studies show more benefit than harm from this hobby. But it is important to measure!);
- search information . Including information on the "forbidden topics".(Of course, to be able to extract the information is useful. But it is better to explain about the "dark side of the Internet" and "forbidden subjects," so as not to arouse thoughts : parents are silent about this, so shameful! );
- an attempt to make money from the comfort of home. (In most cases, your teen won't get rich, rather the opposite –lose, but it's an experience. And the theme for reflection : "He wants to be independent and he has a business plan, or he just doesn't have enough pocket money? and he made a bet on the team Gazmyas, in the hope that 100 rubles will be converted to 300.")
Clearly, if games and social networks continues without interruption , you have the right to put limitations. But first ask yourself the question: "what would I like to do is Internet and games?"
You want to have dancing, music, sports? alas, you almost adult people. And if you do not lay interest in these classes before, he has the right to develop their interest. You just have to negotiate the restrictions. And it's better to not do in 17 years. How to negotiate with a teenager ,I wrote earlier. #slessor
4. Why he started to lie to me?
I conducted a small survey in the VC responded 67 adolescents. I think their answers speak for themselves.
I will Add a few reasons:
- he takes the example of parents (And in fact all the secret becomes clear. And the teenager will have the right to throw you: - Want me to tell the truth, and she lied to me! );
- creates a different life (As a rule, to give significance among peers and gain authority. Or to attract the attention of parents, who simply have no time.);
- it is limited in autonomy. (Full control creates a ploy by the teenager to escape from the "your love", sometimes that leads to serious deception.)
we Must remember that the serious fraud requires a response from parents and control of the teenager for some time. If you feel in a teenager's life a constant lie is alarming. Need to think about what lies behind the deception? : trouble at school? problems with peers? your indifference or custody ,or a hard limit?...
if your question in this article? Maybe you want to add a reason?
to be Continued.
Peace to your home!
(C) Sedova Nataliya.