Today, at the session I asked the client: "What do you mean love?". He said, "Love means respect for my feelings and desires." And it really is one of the aspects of love. When we truly love, we cherish and support, we respect, appreciate and see the inner world of man, his uniqueness.
Love is gentle intimacy, where there is a sense of ownership and demands, where there is faith in each other and in themselves, equality, sincerity, kindness and ability to see in each other the best.
But there is another love, a freaking neurotic environment. And from this love so hard to shake.
One of the girls at the session said, "I don't love my grandmother, and for that I feel guilt and fear. If I don't love her, she is offended and won't love me." A vicious circle. And my grandmother's love is very difficult, because the grandmother demands, controls, gives you the shirt, just the granddaughter was fine. And all the while lamenting how it's hard for her to live and everyone hates her. And here's a "generous" the old woman quietly from childhood instills guilt and hopelessness. Of course, the grandmother is also a pity, inner anxiety and a lack of love causes her to manipulate loved ones.
Alarmingly aggressive love is obsessive love, where the request is equal to the order of, where people are always dissatisfied with something where you cannot be good, because you again do not reach the ideal where the soft, loud laughter banned and even annoying. Constant subliminal anxiety of parental figures causes the child to lose the sense of security all the time to wait for something bad. "Take care of mom, and that she will die (the promise: you are responsible for the life of the mother)", "slow down, you'll kill yourself (message: move dangerous)", etc. And grows anxious and guilty man who believes in himself and believes himself to be wrong.
a Sad sight, but it's solved. We all know what true love is, we know deep inside that true love nature to us. We are all right and important. All you need to allow yourself to feel the love and decide that you are worthy of warmth and acceptance. With these solutions the recovery begins, growing up, gaining internal support, which no one will ever be able to pick up!