a dream is born.
It was the all-Russia children center "Orlenok", where I went as a child ten or twelve years. Awesome place, awesome program. We were in the camp of "Storm", studied knots and nautical terms (a head, galley and others still remember). And in that momentous summer with us was conducting a training psychologist. Oh, Yes! It was then I had a dream of becoming a psychologist. I still remember how we were fashioned from clay the figure represents each of us. I had a dove, a friend ball. Was, according to the psychologist, the ball is the "strong" female figure. For me he was a magician, a wizard, a magician (choose most suitable word). And I knew exactly who I wanted to be in life.
On the way to the dream.
the End of school. Time to choose a profession. Of course, you think I enrolled to study psychology... But there it was. Huge competition for faculty of psychology, no money for bribes, parental attitudes that are not so important, where to go, only to act, my fears that they do not, and I chose something easy, where most likely will go, and where more or less interesting. That turned out to be natural-geographical faculty.
Frustrated? I'm not a bit. Learn well all 5 years, the head of the group, I love our practice at the nature, go Hiking. It was a wonderful time.
Then I was closely associated with students of psychological faculty, envied them very much, eagerly listening to all their talk about psychology.
Since the Institute was educational, we have studied some psychology. I was waiting for these sessions, like manna from heaven. The teacher was disappointed with me specifically. And although the topic was immensely interesting to me, I deliberately did not go to lectures, and then all neatly copied. But despite the negativity towards the teacher, love psychology prevailed.
I have Recently found in their bins my home folder with the techniques and psychological games: there's so much more interesting, necessary, methodically picked up and saved. I was literally in shock: it was my vocation! (but I probably did not understand).
Oh Well. Continue.
3-4 year College. I'm starting to go in a therapeutic group for personal issues. Meet once a week for a few hours. At these meetings, I literally could not breathe (not before!), and absorb with the eyes, ears and everything, everything that is said, done, written, is drawn. It was an invaluable experience. I still remember some moments and use in practice what took place myself. At some point, leading the group, a clinical psychologist, said: "Olga, you need to be a psychologist. It's yours. I see and feel." Then my dream comes to the fore.
And with it appears a new dream – dream. I think that when I worked as a psychologist and arrange an adult group working with dreams. I copy books on dreams, exploring, trying to decipher their dreams, find maps Strife of dreams Kaplan-Williams, translating from English commentaries, etc.
at the same time, I'm going to Saint Petersburg, find out about training in Imalone, it was around 2002-2003. Consider how much money is needed for school life. Understand that you need to move to live in Peter, to work and study; and either to leave the Institute in Volgograd or complete their education, and then to go into the city on the Neva.
What do you think I chose?
Nothing. Fears that this is a difficult, doubt if I need this school, uncertainty about the high earnings of psychologists and the prospects of employment and many other rational, reasonable, conscious (select) arguments from my superego, Ego, Super-Ego "dissuaded" me from this venture. Again my dream goes into the depths of the unconscious.
After graduation (and even getting a master's degree) work in the tourist firm (as the choice of institution it was that easy, and where more or less interesting). After the financial crisis, leaving the state Agency of social protection of the population. During this time work on the reception of documents for the payment of children's allowances, and on the paperwork, and even try to realize themselves in the public service. Simultaneously, getting married, has a child, the family breaks up.
I'm a little over thirty. Work on unloved work, survive the crisis of divorce. Go to the social centre to a psychologist individually on matters of personal life, a group of parent-child relations and on women's training.
summer is Coming, and I'm a child of the sea for a month (to improve it, and as it turned out, and himself). For this great period of rest had the opportunity to look at your life from the outside. It turned out that I don't see the point in the job where I work that I want to work with people (and working papers). Then there was the thought (heard or found on the Internet) on how to earn good money can only be his beloved work. Also found interesting information that according to the study the most famous, acknowledged people who have reached great heights in his professional business, has realized his childhood dream.
I wondered what the dream was in my childhood, what kind of work would be the favorite? Right. See the first part of this story under the title "the Birth of dreams." I always wanted to be a psychologist.
And then a swarm of thoughts swirled in my head: should or should not, if you bring it to life, how; perhaps it is better not to start, remain in the public service, to wait 15 years and get a good pension; and where to study and how to get a job as a psychologist without experience and much more...
But I understood the main thing: for the third time in my life I turn my head in the direction of psychology, twice I have turned away (finding some reason!), and now either to try, or the fourth time this thought will come back to me when I was about fifty, and then there will definitely be too late to start.
a Trickster in life.
previously, in the role of trickster (agent provocateur in this context) were my own thoughts and doubts, now the universe sent me a real person.
Return from the sea. I'm full of new ideas and plans. In the train I meet a girl who works as a psychologist. I think everyone can understand how easy it started our meeting and what we talked about. I know where she is now working on a specialty, what is the procedure of existing salaries in this field, what category of people it worked and works. She shares some experiences of his search in the profession.
Doubt with a new force trying to beat me. Money matters stood face to face in front of me. I clearly understand that changing professional field, I lose the original financial plan, and what will happen next – is unknown.
fortunately, the "idea of thirds" (see the last paragraph of the third step, which is before the trickster) was the strongest of all. Had another thought: I definitely want to try. Even if I'll see that it's not mine, and I made a mistake, I clearly know that I at least tried.
And, returning home, I began to dream.
after a year (!) after this trip, I began working as a psychologist. Now working on the dream of working with dreams.
the Moral is simple:
- remember what You wanted to do in childhood, or that You brought the greatest joy, the interest, and you can start to do in adult life;
- if something is persistently returns to Your life, then this need to do something;
- trickster (provocateurs, clowns, clowns) are always present in our lives, and we understand what we need, importantly, significantly (choose the right) and what is not;
- it is better to try and possibly be wrong than for a long time and doubt never try and then regret not having tried;
- if what You are doing, do Your calling, the universe will surely help You and will accelerate (or maximize) the thorny path.
P. S. I am very grateful in my life to my family and adopted family values; the psychologists who have met on my life's journey; man, who I created a family; our child; and all the circumstances that led me to psychology right now, and not in the first or second step.
And you who or what can you thank in your life?
in your Dream and love yourself