Why is it important? First, because a harmonious relationship of harmony on all three levels. Second, because the understanding at which level there is a problem helps to solve it more clearly.
FIRST COMPONENT: the rapture.
My attitude to the man as to separately taken personality. This is the level at which it is important to understand whether it is like the man himself, his character, his values, his beliefs, whether it fits into our own image of who we respect and with whom we are interested. It is at this level usually there is a love that is not the fact that will grow into love. But if there is no basic sympathy for the person, and to talk about further development of relations as something strange. Although a large number of conflicts, including due to the fact that one is trying to alter the personality of another.
the SECOND COMPONENT: feelings.
that's how the man himself to us. If we love him, and we told him no - just the first unrequited love. There is alas also not make and can not be forced. Here you have to either accept it, or to go on courses of pickup/seduction or a fortune-teller for a spell. (Joke)
THIRD SOSTAVLYAYA: the balance of "give-take".
This level is about feelings and comfort, about how you with someone good as you feel with him and how he feels close to you, both sides are met whether your psychological needs in the relationship. As they say no admiration for the man, no mutual sympathy does not guarantee that two people can really give each other what each wants. And no matter how much we talked about what real love is unconditional, however, close interaction implies a mutual exchange, the contract and expectations. It is at this level tend to occur first hurt and determine who owes what to whom.
Needless to say, the ways of solving problems at each level is also his, and harmony are possible only under three conditions.
so, my dear.
I Hope now you will be able to understand what was happening and to understand in which direction to work to improve.