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Despite the weakness of the position of the father in the family, namely that of a symbiotic, biological attachment of the mother to the child and the fear of losing this attachment creates a risk of divorce and the termination of the relationship with his father throughout the period of childhood and adolescence of the child, the father still needed a pair of mother-child as a "discharge" of the third, which can be "grounded", "discharge", "to let off steam."

This triangularly function of the third, "lightning rod" aggressive energies of the pair, is a function of the network that absorbs hostile impulses and urges both mother and child.



For mothers is often difficult to admit the irritation, negative emotions towards her child, she tries to repress, displace, deny their existence, and when it breaks down, yelling or hitting the child, is a burning feeling of guilt and shame.

on the other hand the child is experiencing ambivalent feelings of love and hatred for his mother, and aggression towards her, the hostility that frightens him and that he also tries to repress, displace, deny, in General, to get rid of.

"Triangulation (triangulation) - involvement in the relationship between two conflicting men a third person or group of persons to reduce tension in a dyad, the creation of "triangles of relations"". (Source: D. Brown, D. Christensen. Theory and practice of family therapy. Glossary to the book, 2007)

For a loving couple mother-child coming into the house, the father performs a facilitating function for all participants in such triple relations. br>
the Child, after a quarrel with her mother, will have to wait for the arrival of father home from work to complain about him to protect from the "evil" mom comforted. Because then you can be mad at mom, bravely and defiantly her answer, just "sulking" and not to talk, to act up. This is largely the imagination of the child that "go" with the appearance of the father and negative emotions are diluted and disappear as expressed to the father out loud, on the phone or even mentally.

as a result, the child regains "good", "good" mother, a good relationship between them be restored again and bear only positive color.

Mother in case of the arrival of her beloved husband also have someone to complain about "inappropriate" behavior of his son or daughter. Instead of the reaction on the children, the mother expresses the indignation of the father. A man from the word courage patiently and calmly listens to, shares, and removes fears, resentment, irritation of his wife children. br>
Thus in a full family, the "family triangle" removed many of the conflicts being resolved before the occurrence due to the possibility of their affective discharge to the father triangularly performing the function of a "lightning rod".

Vladislav Milevsky