Basically doing what our mind is the adaptation (adaptation) to the environment. Adapting to school, work, partner, friends, financial situation in the country, weather conditions in the city. Bail mental and physical health — flexibility. the Ability to adapt quickly and effectively. But with age we become less flexible — psychologists call it "rigidity". How it happens and what to do?
In childhood, each of us is a white sheet. We are facing a challenge and we have to adapt to it creatively. Don't wanna go to school, but don't want to upset mom — what to do? Ill. Homework is too difficult, want to walk — what to do? Learn to write on the reverse. I want to say something to dad, but he can hit in response — what to do? Silent. At some point in time, each pattern of our behavior is the most effective way of adaptation. This is the best that we, with our inborn creativity, could come up with.
But often, especially in childhood, we don't realize that it was our personal choice to adapt in a similar way. We displace it from memory, written off by the environment or accident. we lose the power over this choice.
time Passes. And now, instead of having to go to work, we get sick for months. Postpone everything to the last moment. And closed in itself, when you need to say something important to another person. This is neurosis — when a creative device "freezes", and we use old patterns to new situations. We go to work the same way, buy in the shop the same products, the same behavior in different relationships with different people. In fact, neurosis — it's the old "crutches" that were once necessary, but now only in the way to be freer, more flexible.
Or as this cat. Here and now it's probably the most comfortable position possible on this couch. But what will happen if she stays in this position forever? every time And will only sleep right?
in this case helps a psychologist?
first, the psychologist helps you to understand when and why appeared frozen pattern. It shows the importance of the "there and then". It helps to return to the client the responsibility for the selection you made. And along with the responsibility and power over this choice. Consider when and why you needed a pattern that now you are not satisfied?
Next, the psychologist helps the client to understand their attitude to the pattern of "here and now". How important is he now? How much you want to get rid of it? Or is it like in the parable of the dog, which still hurt enough?
And finally, when the client already is aware of their responsibility for the choice made, its power over the choice of a particular pattern of behavior and his inability to live further in this way, the psychologist helps to restore the creative device at this point. how would you otherwise? You can help with?
of Course, in this article, I simplify the essence of neurosis. And do this in order to show that change is possible. The main thing — to think about it, you start to analyze and see the importance of the "there and then", to take responsibility for that choice and, proceeding from inactivity of this pattern here and now, to make a different choice. Creatively to solve this problem. As we performed these tasks in childhood.