how many times told the world about being alone. Where we are talking about love, look for mention of it. Explored its philosophers, talking about it in fashion magazines and articles. In the literature on this subject stresses the complexity of the phenomenon, the ambiguity and variability. Loneliness is divided into voluntary seclusion positive and negative terrible loneliness. I am now about adverse. "Loneliness is an experience that causes complex and acute sense, which expresses some form of identity and shows the split of the main reality of online relationships and connections of the inner world of the personality ". (William A. Sadler and Thomas B. Johnson "From loneliness to anomia").
Let's deal. Loneliness is an internal subjective experience. Loneliness occurs only when the person himself believes that he is alone. And it is not always associated with the number of contacts. It occurs when the inner world and the external relationship is not the same. Determinants of this condition is characteristics of the personality of the person.
a person's Worldview is based on his assessments of the world, in the world. Frame this design is the "I" concept. Material for its construction are social reinforcements. "Who I am, what I am, how I am perceived by others, what am I doing?". If the answer is no or not enough, there are doubts: "maybe something is wrong." That loneliness arises from such doubts.
We all need contact with other people. Without this man can not. The lack of contact, especially tactile, or strong deficiency in infancy can lead to hospitalism – a deep physical and mental retardation, which is often not reversible. Adult healthy person communication is also necessary. Without it, a person loses orientation. But contacts can be indirect. Reading the book and watching the film, the person also is in contact. I'm not talking about the virtual contacts of the Internet. And it is also social reinforcement. Man finds confirmation of his thoughts and actions, or finds. When this occurs, the process of communicating the image of "I" with the images of others. And feelings of loneliness does not occur, even if direct contact is not enough. Formed congruent personality is open for contacts, and such a man will communicate as much as HE needs. Insecure people will look for contacts to get "backups" of their "I" concept. Or conversely, will avoid contact for fear of them not to. But the basis of communication is the interest to reality, to her different sides. Otherwise, the communication is reduced only to search "their" and "strokes" that just relieves anxiety.
Contacts build in the mind a system of images with their links, ariaria in which the image I is Central. Images of important people have more weight. If a person does not FEEL their embeddedness in the system of relations no matter what – it could be family friends, relatives, co-workers, colleagues on Hobbies, etc., and there is an experience of loneliness. Moreover, in this series of images can be and have already gone people, but their image lives, and the person does not feel lonely. It's a relative, friend, or teacher, whom he never saw, but read his book, the actor in your favorite movie, anyone, the one whose image in the mind with whom you can communicate mentally. It is clear why seemingly lonely person may not feel lonely. He has images of people with whom he can communicate, share with them, get their feedback. Tyutchev about this: "Only to live with himself if,there is a whole world in your soul". Clear and alone in the crowd, in the family, etc. the Way "I" is not included in the system or unstable. Aborted image system is a source of dependencies of various kinds, first love when the "I" concept is entirely dependent on the image of the other. Then it saves only "holding the pen", which looks like a disaster when you break. More stable than "I" concept, the less she needs social reinforcement. I emphasize, not in communion, and confirmation to their importance, the lack of which determines and loneliness.
Thus, the struggle with poor alone must work to overcome their fears, insecurity, low self-esteem that prevent to correctly evaluate yourself, prevent internal imaginative dialogue.
From two areas:
1.Work, development of self, strengthening and development of the "I" concept, the development of the inner world, the development of the internal dialogue, the development of self-confidence.
2.Increase direct contacts with people. But it must be formed a figure of thinking, which suggests the possibility of simple dialogue, or at least the ability to embed itself in the system images.
they are two sides of the same coin. The first without the second is useless. Without communication it is impossible to develop.
Positive communication is based on shared interests, a variety of: work, traveling, sports. Even love will quickly fade away if people just look at each other and I do with pleasure.
If you suffer from loneliness, get busy, which will make work the imagination and on that basis look for communication. It is easy to find. Then you deal with the "great and terrible" phenomenon of civilization – loneliness.