У кого формируется любовная зависимость ?

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In the last article we discussed what love addiction is an addiction.

As we have said, generation such passions are children's psychological trauma and dysfunctional relationships in the parent family.

This family may have the problem of alcoholism, any other according or not to have this problem and look quite safe, but to have more invisible features. For example, the father can provide financial well-being of the family, but to be emotionally unavailable. Or the mother may behave jealously and selfish towards the child.

anyway, but the child's emotional needs for acceptance, unconditional love and security are not satisfied.


Main feature of such a family is the inability to discuss the root of the problem, instead focusing on less important issues, and the real problem is overshadowed, it is not noticed and not discussed. Instead, discuss only the effects of this problem.

for Example, not discuss the fact that the parents hate each other, unable to build a dialogue and regularly organize itself around a hell of a situation, and the fact that the child, for example, began to do poorly in school, or he had the wrong Hobbies, and that they unanimously pressed him for it. Although for a child it is a way to escape from the traumatic reality.


What happens to the child in such conditions? He can't trust his feelings and instincts. He knows what's really going on, but the reality is banned and powerful adults force him to take a different "reality". The child may not doubt the correctness of the parents, because his mind is not yet able to handle this load, it would mean the collapse of his world. So he is forced to doubt the reality of their own vision and perception of events. He has at some point to lie and wear a mask, to accept the role that he is forced to play.


This greatly hinders the development of the ability to interact successfully with other people. Such people have difficulty in determining what is good for them and what is bad. If a normal person can immediately see and feel that the situation is dangerous and inconvenient for him, a man who grew up in a dysfunctional family, unable to understand it. Instead, it leads to a dramatic situation, where he again will experience pain and suffering, to a new injury. And it accumulates like a snowball.


Any dependencies do not arise by chance. All of this is a natural development of the system in which personality develops. If we are talking about love addiction, the person tries to satisfy his need for love and security, choosing a familiar type of emotionally unavailable man, and tries to change him with your love, becoming over protective.


the Child cannot accept the imperfection of parents, and therefore decides that the problem is in him. It gives a sense of security, because if the problem so he could solve this problem, it means he is subject.

Love addicts are povzroslevshie people, so they are trying their omnipotence to change an immutable partner and to obtain from him what was not achieved from its parent.


We will continue to discuss this interesting topic in future articles.

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Svetlana Kosheleva
2018-04-30
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