Moments of self-pity is typical for all people. For some it is a "short pause" before further movement forward, a kind of "rest" from all problems. For insecure individuals attempt, sometimes barren to attract the attention and sympathy of other people. To what do we owe the emergence of such moments? How to understand, whether a person?
There are three effective ways:
- to Observe their behavior – if the person complains to close friends, relatives, acquaintances or people of the more distant surroundings, which is easier to complain. This is the easiest method, but it requires some effort, because you need to recognize that the problem really exists. How to do it? To pay attention to even petty complaints and negative attitude to life, to yourself and other people enough to put yourself installation, in this case any actions will be carefully analysed by the mind.
- Ask yourself a sincere question – do I have purpose? For example, a welcome and long-awaited marriage, search for a loved one, a rise in income twice, the observance of strict diet and weight loss, healthy lifestyle, etc. After this you need to analyze which of these goals are not realized for a long time. The presence of unfulfilled tasks and is an indicator that the person is feeling sorry for themselves and do nothing. It's simple – for any idea and project you need to at least start to do something. Take care of your health is easy, but you need to get up off the couch and do exercise. To search for a loved one need to meet and communicate with people, to be open, etc. If the person does not move in anticipation of the completion of its goals – so he's feeling sorry for themselves.
- Analyze whether there are internal psychological tension towards the goal. In this case it is better to choose the average length of the target, the best option for a few weeks.For example, the task was to follow a strict diet and not to eat after 18.00. Several weeks passed, but nothing has changed – late snacking continue, diet smoothly into the category of unrealized ideas, but at the same time in growing tension and self-criticism. This is evidence that people feeling sorry for themselves.
so, we can distinguish 3 main indicator of self-pity:
- complaints aloud;
- unrealized dreams, "hung" for a long time;
- the internal voltage in relation to goals and desires.
How to stop feeling sorry for yourself and continue to move forward? First you need to realize that self-pity is, then it is necessary to study and analyze possible causes, develop further tactics and firmly go to the planned purpose.
you can Watch my video on the topic of psychology and psychotherapy here