do Not have to wait when the addict will sink to the "bottom" in order to convince him to be treated.
Belief is a demonstration of the reality of man, "lost contact with her, available to perception in the way" to destroy the protective barriers built by the disease. The connection with reality is achieved through objective, impartial, respectful, clearly communicate the specific facts associated with the use. Thus, a conviction differs from an ordinary confrontation, because it is not a punishment, of retribution, but rather with empathy and care.
to the conviction is successful, you need to prepare well. First and foremost, relatives or other loved ones should overcome own resistance.
Fear and doubt is a natural process. BUT
While you delay, the disease destroys a person close to you, his body and psyche irreversibly affected, the case and the relationship becomes worse.
Having the knowledge about dependencies (https://www.b17.ru/article/115763/), you'll be able to share them with other people and set them up for a fruitful process of persuasion, which will help to stop the disease. Don't forget that a belief is caring for a dear person, not the invasion of privacy. Conviction will make open what is hidden, violate the "principle of silence" that hangs over relatives of the dependent person, and bring relief not only dependent, but also his family.
preparations for the belief must be thorough. You need to find participants, find a place and a time when dependent people are more likely to hear what he want to say to loved ones. Training is carried out without the involvement of dependent, but in the process of convincing him it is necessary to tell about it.
the belief can participate two or more people who can tell you about his behaviour in intoxication. Optimally, if the group consists of 3 – 5 people. The same message coming from multiple people, it is much harder to question than evidence of one. Picture submitted by several people from different spheres of life of a dependent will be wider than the picture, known to one person. Members of the group beliefs can support each other, will feel more confident when dependent person will enter into confrontation.
Step 1: Make a list of influential people from among the surrounding chemically dependentfirst man.
Authoritative people – people whose opinion is influential for the dependent. These people do not have to suffer with drug or alcohol addiction, except when they stopped drinking and are on the path of recovery.
this list can include:
- the spouse (spouse)
- children older than 8 years (during the belief they will have the opportunity to Express what they have to observe silence, and to support adults)
- the head and colleagues (often dependent person clings to the job as the last Bastion of denial, but the staff usually witnessed inappropriate behavior, so their participation can be extremely useful)
- friends and neighbors, which respects a dependent, do not share the addiction to substances
- other reputable people (e.g., priests, or rabbis for religious people).
Step 2. To form group beliefs.
we Need to meet potential team members and agree on a joint strategy. It is important that all the participants were emotionally stable (not experienced to dependent very strong feelings – anger, fear, were not in a depression), considered addiction a disease, not a defect of will; understand the mechanisms of action of the protection system and the failure of the dependent to adequately assess their behavior and was willing openly to define its position, despite the risk of losing the relationship.
Step 3. Collection of information:
3.1. Each team member beliefs writes in details, details cases or conditions the patient, is associatednye with alcohol or drug abuse, the witness of which he became.
the Cases are written in the third person: "at 20.00 you came staggering home from work, sat behind the wheel, I brought my car to 150 km / h and then slammed on the brakes, so the brakes screeched and the smoke went...." Next team member describes his feelings: "I was really scared that we're gonna crash".
At the same time it is necessary to exclude self-pity and hostility, as they can have belief to a standstill. It is desirable to begin every sentence with a positive thing: You were always a good father, but... I'm grateful to you for your concern, but.... etc.
Fit video, which is shot of a dependent person in a state of intoxication.
3.2. It is necessary to collect information rehabilitation centers involved in the treatment of alcoholism and drug addiction, and negotiate with them to if persuasion is successful, an addict will agree to accept help, he would immediately go there.
the Conviction is followed by one or two times to rehearse. All participants, with the exception of the addict get together and read out their lists. Through rehearsals, the team becomes cohesive, better understanding, reduced the likelihood of ill-considered statements. People find faith in the possibility of change and less afraid.
Rehearsal is as follows:
- the organizer of the event tells the audience about chemical dependence (the information that was in the first part);
- Members choose the person who will lead the rehearsal and conviction. His challenge to the conviction has not become another family scandal. He says opening remarks and manages the process, making sure that speakers did not deviate from the topic, not give in to emotions, accusations and generalizations.
- Each participant read a list, each item needs to be approved and, if necessary, corrected by other participants. If the conviction involves children, it is important that they spoke in their own words, not repeating the words of adults. Rehearsal violates the principle of "silence", where witnesses to the behavior of the dependent person is afraid to speak about what he saw.
- Head of persuasion in writing determines the order of speakers and monitors in the process of persuasion for compliance.
- one of those present at the rehearsal may play a role chemically dependent or members do it in turn. So the rehearsal will be able to discuss and experiment with responses to possible negative reactions of the dependent – anger, sarcasm, resentment, tears, etc.
- Each participant must decide what he is really willing to do, if chemically dependent will refuse to hear what he was saying. If someone decides to set an ultimatum, if dependent refuses to comply with the requirement, the action must be implemented.
- it is Important that the group rehearsed the options when the dependent wants to leave, he gets aggressive or starts to apologize. It is important that the beliefs all lists were read to the end.
- At some point dependent "hear" loved ones and, possibly, recognize their innocence. But it's not the end of persuasion, but only the final of the first part. Next you need to insist that addicts agreed to help. For this you need to offer a prepared specific treatment options. If the dependent will refuse the treatment, citing the fact that he realized and to use more of the substance is not, then it should be remembered that even if he will be able to keep that promise, achievement of sobriety – not a recovery. Disease, including emotional syndrome still remains valid, although in fact the person does not use substances. Therefore, the rehearsal of the second stage of persuasion and the development of firm positions of participants is not less important than the rehearsal of the reading of the lists.
to all the participants beliefs felt confident and was able to firmly defend its position, you may need to spend a few rehearsals.
the Belief it is better to spend a day following the day drinking or taking drugs, at the time when the dependent is sober. You need to belief that nothing would interrupt, and that it was a surprise for the dependent. Everything you need to treatment to this point has been collected, the agreement with the doctors is achieved. All items must be addressed in the development.
If close I doubt that will cope with all on their own, they can seek help from a specialist.
What if persuasion does not work?
Even if the belief will not lead to the desired result, it will still be helpful:
- will break the silence surrounding addiction;
the team members unite, they will know that they can count on each other;
the family will gain knowledge about addiction and will not blame yourself for what is happening with a loved one;
- the denial of the dependent, if not collapse, then shattered.