In my office often heard similar words

- Mom divorced dad, he was a bad
- you think so too ?
don't know
how dad treated you ?
- probably good . He hugged me before bed, and bought delicious candy , we often played together.

In this place adults people usually cry . Bitter, childish tears . Because one of the parents suddenly when I decided that dad or mom the child is no longer needed .

Adults self-sufficient men and women weep bitterly about the age when one of their parents was an "extra" in the family for different reasons

these women, the main question for the psychologist is the inability to build a relationship and get married, create a family , to cease to enter into a relationship with married men , dissatisfaction in life ( despite the advances in career , development )

for men the other side - it is impossible to recognize their success and achievements in career , the constant search adult, steady adviser close to, the inability to build a warm relationship with a woman, because the mother they have a lot of repressed anger and resentment , and female caring is viewed only through the prism of "so did my mom , so get away from me, I don't need you" .

Such people find it difficult to make decisions , because in childhood they were udobnym instrument manipulation between the parents, and quickly got used to it and mastered the role . It was necessary for survival at that moment, differently it was impossible.

Often I see families where the woman after a quarrel or divorce in different ways exclude the father from the child's life ( kind of a ritual murder , using "your daddy doesn't love us anymore" ) , revenge, guided by the great idea of the goodness of life and a brighter future .The girls of course agree with the mothers, recognize the insignificance of the father , and are on the path of struggle in a row.

but that's the feeling that "I am the daughter of nothingness" then catches up . In the adult female life .Mother continues to regulate and control the daughter's life , focusing on selection of potential partners that will always be something wrong . The feeling of self-worth is greatly reduced ,each partner is more objectionable , inappropriate and unworthy .

the simplest rule in such situations is the separation . A clear division of roles between parents and children . The relationship of the mother and the father are one part , the relationship of parent with child is another
Maybe I will say strange things, but even a bad husband can be a great father . Because it is a different role .
And it would be good to remember that my anger at the partner is not related to the child, and should not affect their relationship.