it's No secret that many of us periodically experience difficulties with how to properly and "painless" to react to events.
Someone is "plugged" into them emotionally, showing excessive emotional reactions. And someone lives uncomfortable situation physically reacting to what is happening with his body.
whatever it was, and someone else is not only wrong, but also can be hazardous to health and sometimes even for life.
Therefore, it is important to learn to react constructively and green. the
of Course, this method requires training, because without proper knowledge, it will not work.
But, like any habit, constructive (aka alternative) response can be trained.
first, you should pay special attention to the analysis of their needs and ways to satisfy them. Because absolutely every emotion and its expression is unmet need. Remember, as very small children when, for example, experience hunger (i.e. the need for food), but can't properly Express, they just start crying (i.e., showing emotion). And when they already know what they need and can Express verbally, such emotional manifestations do not happen. And so in all.
just as we don't know and do not know how to recognize and define their needs, we learn and Express their emotions properly and constructively.
Accordingly, at the beginning you need to learn to track and predict the desired emotional behavior. This will help us a "Diary of self-observation". It looks like this:
ie – fix the situation occurred that triggered our emotional response. In the column about the emotions I write on the left the one that we took, i.e. habitual, and to the right is desired, which we would like to learn.
Also in the table note how the situation manifested itself physically (had a fever, chills, dizzy, etc.). In column spontaneous reviews write all that deem important about the situation and everything connected with it.
This technique helps to learn not only to track and analyze your responses.
And we turn now to the most interesting, namely, the replacement of the usual reaction to alternative.
Schematically this can be visualized as follows:
a is the event that caused the reaction B (the usual and not always constructive). Our goal is to learn how to replace reactions In alternative reaction C.
Every time You respond to an event, try to analyze (using a "Diary of self-observation"), how You reacted, and how else could react. Over time, You will not only learn to recognize your reaction, but also to substitute its constructive. Like here:
As you can see, the method of response is gradually shifting towards a situation And, while In becomes smaller and is gradually replaced by:
on average, for mastering one skill (or emotions) you need about three weeks. This is assuming that training and reflection is provided. Consequently, for a year and a half you can in a relaxed mode to learn and train almost the complete range of emotions. br>
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