i.e. afraid to be grateful.

V. O. Klyuchevsky

First, I want to tell the story about his family. I have a son and a daughter son is a senior. Once a daughter came to me with a request that I asked his son a hoodie for her performance. I asked her to do it herself, to the daughter said, "He will not let me!". I said, "where did you get this, because you have not tried to ask." Omit the details, but in the end the daughter asked for a hoodie from my brother he gave her, but with the condition "if the tarnish, then wash myself."

Another story from my practice. A lady complained to me that she hurt when her close friend refers to someone else, but not to her for help. I lady offered to ask the friend – why? A friend said something like: so you're the never have I do not ask for help, so I'm scared something to bother you.

Two different stories, but one and the same – the inability to ask. Why does this happen and what to do about it? One of the objective reasons why we are so clumsy, it's our education system, where promoted two postulates: "ashamed to ask, what to ask, better do it yourself". Nothing against these postulates are not, but they are not always appropriate.

Example No. 1. Relations between a man and a woman. Unfortunately, many women forget that one of the most important implementation for men is it possible for anyone to patronize. With this option, men I feel smarter, stronger, etc. And if a woman believes that the request is embarrassing or humiliating... She asks, not helping her. But the realization of something important! So, to help other women who know how to beg. I understand that very often it happens that a man has for a long time to ask for something and then still do it. Then admit to yourself honestly: are either already there were cases when you did everything yourself, then a man will be hard to convince them that you need help, either with you there's a man who just likes to be persuaded, because it "warms" his self-esteem.

Example No. 2. Relationships with loved ones. Close relationships imply a common Outlook and Mutual aid, i.e. aid from both sides. But if you build from a "strong" and not allow myself anything with anyone to share or, God forbid(!), something to ask, I understand that thus you are forbidden to ask for help to you. People are just scared. You can and should be a strong person, but strength may be human, i.e. clear.

you Know, the classroom "School flirting" with the girls we are working on women's status, in particular as a "girl," ladies get homework on "the ability to ask." Then we discuss the experiences that were obtained during task performance. Many ladies recognized that to overcome shame is very difficult, BUT when they are solved, then there is the excitement of what happened! It is clear that everything must be within reason. I don't encourage "sit on the neck of" their requests, but get pleasure from the fact that there are people who care about you who are happy to help you.... Unless you are willing to give it up?