Uncontrollable desire to please others


you can Often hear the query format is "I always want to adapt to the interlocutor, and all. Only produce a good impression. My behavior is at all unnatural, I feel and understand it, but I just can't help myself. I see that others have no such desire to please everybody, or they do not follow him, despite the presence of". the
the issue is largely linked to the theme of "the Harm of traditional upbringing" and, in order not to repeat myself, I recommend to read it first to complete understanding.
of Course, tact, politeness, courtesy, affability, elementary respect, in the end - are the essential qualities of the educated man of modern culture beyond national and geopolitical context.
However, the data quality should be implemented by artificial means - that is, consciously, at the request of the person to adequate reaction on the changes directly in the communication process (if human interaction is happening here and now for the first time) or in relationships in General.
Understand the difference? To put it bluntly: controlled and uncontrolled desire, as a consequence of the behaviour.
If in the first case we have a tool of interpersonal interaction, the second internal disorder.
But do not rush immediately to clearly divide people into two categories. Common sense and scientific criticism tells us that the continuum of norm-disorder applies in this case. That is, each person has a certain amount of uncontrollable desire to be liked. To be conscious is absolutely impossible. Therefore each and in this context, the neurotic. The only question is the volume which a certain value is considered a disorder, in the psychotherapeutic value.
It's like with homosexual inclinations - everyone has them, but are all homosexuals.
How can we classify and diagnose the uncontrollable urge to impress?
Closest to the hysterical personality disorder (F60.4) and hysteroid psychological type, which is characterized by, in particular, "an inexhaustible need for attention, fragile self-esteem, importance of sex, feigned behavior". the
In the ICD-10 the most interesting criteria G2, G3, G4.
  • G2. Deviation must be complete in the sense that the lack of flexibility, lack of adaptability, or other dysfunctional features detected in a wide range of personal and social situations (i.e. not limited to one "trigger" or situation).
this is What I meant above, when speaking about artificial realization of appealing qualities. Free conscious behavior allows you to be more flexible in communication. While hysterical disorder deprives, in fact, choice and leads to rigid repetitive thinking style that leads to G3
  • G3. Marked personal distress or adverse impact on social environment.
and the fourth. NI (uncontrollable urge to impress) is a characteristic property, that is created as a result of upbringing and hysteroid psychological type of personality. Consequently, in the biography of the diagnosed must be traced the dynamics and determinants have influenced the formation of psycho in childhood or puberty. br>
  • G4. Must be evidence that the deviation is stable and of long, beginning in older childhood or adolescence.

Such determinants, for example, are often toxic Significant Others - parents, siblings, other persons who lived together with the subject and had systematic interaction with the add-on.
What behavior of these individuals is mainly estrogenny? Suppression, criticism, indication of inferiority. Strict requirements for compliance with the standards of ethics and morality. Constant stereotypical messages in the style of "one must...", "wrong...", "it is Always necessary...". The child receives love and approval only by milowent, facilities, as well as excessive force and striking actions. A child's sexuality is strongly docked, its growing up artificially constrain, the subject of sex ignored, the child is constantly broadcast the idea that he is not adult with the appropriate attitude. In turn, regression is encouraged - for example, infantile, childish behavior, artificiality, exaltation, expression of interest to children's paraphernalia. No wonder F60.4 consists of two disorders: hysterical and psihopatia. In General, this style can not neutralize the sexual energy of the child, but leads to its displacement, and temporary. In consequence of sexualitybest image hipertrofiada Vice versa, too.
In the end, the subject internalizes the idea that it is a priori inferior, not adult, are not equal, but have to please everyone around, but maybe it's due to the total convenience plus feigned sweetness and sexuality. "If I am not a person, then I'll at least welcome".

Thus in adult life, this behavior is rigid adherence to childhood patterns of behavior that are now not recognized and dictate the style of interaction with others. In the unconscious it is based on complex installations intracellularly deeply about how I treat people, what to expect from them and self-esteem.
it does Not matter that the person is an adult and Autonomous, and the attitude of others is actually different from the expected person. Past trauma so severe that it prevents an objective critical perception. Expectation is stronger than fact, and paint it in your tone. Simply put, it ain't like in the childhood, but these "habits" stay with people and they can to live my life, as practice shows.
Q basal characterological qualities of the most complicated and time consuming. Such problems are solved in psychotherapy, which involves the systematic study of unconscious attitudes from the past and integration into adult life.
About the illustrations. To find an exact illustration is not easy and also takes a lot of time. But the article perfectly complements and reinforces the meaning of associative.
Resorting to popular images of cinema first, of course, wanted to use the photo of Marilyn Monroe, which no doubt suffer from hysterical personality disorder. Expressed sexual behavior, while low self-worth and the inability to tolerate loneliness (the need to constantly please others and receive their love). It was she who first introduced to the culture of unhealthy infantile sexuality - nonsense, thin voice, to demonstrate the intimate parts of the body as a result of the alleged awkwardness, the game is bright lips, eyes, facial expressions and provocative poses. Only isteroid can be so sexy, because a normal person doesn't apply so much effort in order to trigger the desire of the other.
Her name was even called the syndrome.
But even more striking is the image of Jessica rabbit. This image of Marilyn Monroe in the absolute. More sexuality, more balistically with internal contradictions.

Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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