Under the blows of fate. How to survive emotionally traumatic situation.

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I am convinced that one of our missions in life is to know that we need to become the best version of themselves. Often we are in situations where we have no tools for processing. When we don't know what to do with the blows of fate and their associated emotions, we have the opportunity of learning.



SCARED, HURT, SAD

Many times I have found myself in situations where I feel lost, not knowing what to do or where to start. Are events that require us to make a vital decision, even though we do not understand what is happening in reality.

For some people it is the loss of a loved one, for others the loss of a job. This can be a car accident, experiencing attacks, divorce, emigration, or any other situation that we perceive as traumatic.

In such moments, we tend to focus only on the situation. We begin to worry about how we'll get through it. And at the same time, sad or guilty (or both) to think about what's going on. We doubt our decisions, "Why did I do that?" Or "Why I did not?". We think of a "must have", "could have" and "will have" and then blame the situation or the involved people in the ability to affect our confidence and self-esteem.

Traumatic events are full of negative emotions. Fear of the future, fear of failure, sadness of the past, regret about the loss, guilt and anxiety. And how to simultaneously meet all these experiences and figure out what you need?

Here are a few strategies that will help you cope with the difficult period and get through it productive and least painful way.

  • Know yourself.

You are not your situation. Stop and think about who you are in a situation what you like, what you dislike, what you want and what you don't want that you can take and what is not.

  • Respect yourself.

once you know who you are and what your boundaries, proceed accordingly. Always think how what you are about to do will affect your life. It will bring you to where you want to be, or who you want to be?

  • Feel for yourself.

Realize what your contribution to the objective situation, and then instead of having to despise yourself, choose forgiveness, and decide what you can do next time. Instead of being your attorney, learn from your mistakes and try again differently.

  • Check reality.

When you feel that you are a loser or a coward, ask yourself if there's proof and who says it? If the answer is that there is no evidence or that you are the only one who thinks so, you will be able to look at yourself and the situation from a different point of view.

  • Are in the present.

Despair and depression, tend to occur from the view of the past. Anxiety comes from focusing on the future and what will happen. When we focusareas in the past, we again and again experienced the painful situation and beat yourself. When we focusareas on the future, we worry about what we don't know what will happen. While we feel all we felt in this situation. Although we focusareas on the past or future, we miss what is happening in the present, with its good and not so good things. Turns out we actually don't live in our lives.

  • Be grateful.

We are not programmed to simultaneously feel two opposite emotions (happiness and sadness, excitement and serenity). When you're grateful, you focus on the positive aspects of his life, making impossible the emergence of anxiety or sadness. Practice gratitude several times a day as you can, especially when you begin to feel negative emotions.

  • Think before you act.

it is Very difficult to be objective in an intense emotional state. We become impulsive, to end the suffering and find a quick solution to our problems. Avoid making important decisions in an emotionally charged state, think before you act.

  • Do what you have to.

If you want to see results, you need to do the job. Clearly define your goals. Then commit to doing what you need to do every day. You need to focus only on what you need to make at the moment. And know that the next day, week, or month, you will do what you need to do. This will continue until you're on the other side of a difficult situation. The best way to move forward is to make sure that you move every day, step by step to the goal.

There is a parable about the bird that learned to fly. Once it's time to open the wings and fly, but he was afraid.

He asked his mother: "What if I fall?"

Mother said: "But what if you fly?"

so I want to ask you, dear readers: "What if you fly?"


Source: https://www.psyh.ru/pod-udarami-sudby/

Stanislav Malanin
2018-06-29
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