How to behave with people and in situations that take you out of balance, in other words, they annoy you and you're angry at them.
Offer an effective exercise that will allow you to avoid such people and situations, and perceive them correctly.
For starters, consider if you've noticed that they are trying to avoid situations that make you angry, anger, irritation that you just nervous? If Yes, then I recommend you to change your behavior and attitude.
Explain why.
the TACTICS of AVOIDANCE helps, but for a very short time and in the end you are either gonna blow anyway or force yourself to hold back much, which would entail a loss of confidence.
If you consistently avoid your boss, colleague, or family member, then of course you'll be less worry of negative feelings, but will not be able to treat it realistically and consciously.
EXERCISE
Remember all the situations, people, circumstances at work, at home, in the community that take you out of yourself. For a start, decide that next time you won't to avoid them. Most importantly realize that abandoning avoidance is not going to hurt you, but rather will help to work on your reaction. You can feel how frustrating to be a victim and how nice to be able in such situations to work through their emotions and reactions. br>
Next, make a list of people and situations treats you.
Title list: "Difficult people and situations, which I will confront and not avoid."
example:
1. Situation: Son. Misbehaves, manipulates and I agree to his terms or just ignore his behavior, and then snap at him, feeling the weakness.
How to fix: I will be firmer in his decisions in relation to the son, and be with him calmer instead to ignore his behavior and beg to do something.
2. Situation: Ivan, the boss. Sets unrealistic deadlines for the report.
How to fix: I will discuss with Ivan Ivanovitch certain issues and to negotiate more realistic terms, instead of being hurt and mad at him.
3. Situation: Marina, a colleague. Don't like that she competes with me and puts me in bad light in the team.
How to fix it: I'll talk to Marina and tell that bothers me in our cooperation, instead of complaining about her to others behind her back.
4. Situation: The Husband. Always exaggerates, I have a bad mood, we fight and blame each other and remembering all the sins. I already know that it will pay attention to my mood.
How to fix: I make a delicious dinner for my husband, and we spend a wonderful evening. Instead of respond to it, and guessing about my mood, then to fight and disperse to different rooms. Etc.
Make such a list and immediately write about how you will fix their attitude. Having worked on paper situation, you will know in advance how to behave next time. And you don't have to avoid and hide "in a shell" feeling sorry for myself and hating the whole world. You will be able to rationally look at everything and to choose the right solution. br>
I am convinced that we build our life, by our own choice. Make the choice to conscious life, not life in the dream. br>
thank you!