we Have a rather strange feature of communication. If the person commits the act of, say, positive, wholesome, people often are limited to hardly not a formal "thank you." In other words, to thank and to praise, especially much, not global we decided not. On the contrary, when it comes to criticize a person, even for minor, sometimes minor infraction, here forces to spare almost no one will. And here people often start their communication with reproaches.
What is the reproach? In my opinion, a rebuke is a manifestation of their own grievances, in connection with the actions of another person. Very often the reason for the criticisms is the difference in views on a certain situation or event. Moreover, the purpose of the person who reproaches is, first of all, the satisfaction of their needs and instilling a feeling of guilt to another, without considering the interests and viewpoints of the latter.
the Reproach almost always leads to quarrel almost, because a very important tone. You could say the exact same phrase in completely different ways - "You didn't wash the dishes" can be loud and aggressive, and you can quietly and with regret. Accordingly, the appropriate person and it will be perceived quite differently.
the Reproach is borderline normal relations, which could escalate into conflict. It is quite another reasoned comment, here it is, may be the beginning of the path to agreement.
Separate item to highlight the accusations from the parents. In most cases, parents blame their adult children due to the fact that you can't accept the fact that they may have a different vision of the situation or some event. Often parents can hear the phrase "No matter how old she or he, he or she is still my baby." While they are very offended if on your rebuke they receive an unexpectedly high response. Take it as disrespect and a desire to hurt them. And because the child already has your experience of life and in another world, because the surrounding is changing. It is important to understand that the conciliation (permanent) with lashings of parents can be considered as one of the signs of infantilism. This is dangerous because such people can hold the position of the Victim and begin to avoid taking any responsibility. Another point, parents with their accusations can devalue what their child does, regardless of the results. They do this due to the fact that it is very afraid of losing control and influence on his already adult children.
the Accusations can be perceived as an insult, which naturally leads to conflict with all its consequences. Most often such situations arise in the course of family quarrels. Here, in my opinion, you should be careful to a point that each of the spouses independently selected a companion(TSU) of life, and that moment I respected him and his own choice. The conclusion should more closely watch what will be the attitude to the words (perhaps unpleasant) of his partner.
blame is dangerous, primarily because never lead to the development of relations.
Live with joy! Anton Black.