Уравновешенный человек

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a well-Balanced person – who is it? For me it's people comforted. Knowing that nothing'd kick the shit outta, but because you trust yourself, you can not be constantly in suspense, not fear sudden emotional storms. Nowhere – I mean from the inside. Not going rapid uncontrolled emotional reaction. Do not take a force majeure situation, take life, ordinary everyday. No matter what happens – the person will begin to "carry", "carry", "make", "flatten", "to break". On all the emotion this person will find another, her balancing. And this is because you can rely on! If you draw the image, you can imagine it something like this: man is sad, much grieving, sorrow bent, but something inside him is such that it balances the sadness or grief – and a man falls, not falls, and even sometimes unbent at once (and sometimes then, but even hanging on some time in bent mountain is in him steadily, not staggering and not pulling on the ground). Or angry people, angry, literally radiates heat. He was leaning forward, ready to rush into battle. But there is something inside him that allow him to stand still on his own two feet, not to rush with fists on the offender, not to throw him a handy and pasture objects.

a well-Balanced person stands firmly on his feet. On its own, which is important. He feels that his legs are "with it" – strong, strong, not bent, not shaking. He feels underfoot support. He feels that she is beneath him does not falter, not fail. Under it not the air, not a swamp, not water, not jelly. Under it the earth. The earth's firmament. And he is quite stable standing. This combination of understanding that "I can stand steadily, not staggering" and that "the earth sustains me". What would I sense or feel and like myself was, I am, o K.

due to its internal balance balanced person can balance themselves. Children, relatives, colleagues, friends. Customers if we are talking about the therapist. Those whom he is not against to balance (because it spent resource). With such a man you can be yourself – any, and it doesn't fall apart. Being in contact with him, to take care of yourself, not ashamed of this (and not to protect his feelings, sacrificing their own). Not the fact that it will (to take care of themselves, not sacrifice themselves), because our scripts often dictate different behavior, but there is at least a possibility. And there whether to use it.

a well-Balanced person – not a robot. He, too, there are "black Friday", and "got off on the wrong foot", and "this time is not right". And even PMS, if you're a woman of childbearing age. But even at such times one feels that the "bottom" that we sometimes fall – such a person is not so deep. How about a couple of steps down, and not fell down the rabbit hole and flying, eating on the way hallucinogenic mushrooms.

a well-Balanced person – not an alien and not a Museum piece. It is an ordinary man, who grew up in favorable conditions and/or in adulthood consciously worked in tandem with a therapist over the ability to balance.

the Ability to balance is the integration about which I wrote here: https://www.b17.ru/article/82745/. Its beginnings are visible at the age of 5-7 years, if the child normativity, and usually later if the child is highly sensitive. But all this IF. If the child had a resource for timely maturation. If not was forced to spend it on something else (survival, psychological or physical, to care for their contact with mom/dad/other significant adults, to experience excessive separation, in the winning of parental love and tdtp).

here is a simple example of integration. The child is angry. So much that has (mother, friend, sister). He can't help it. The emotion is too strong. It is in her power. You can imagine for clarity a picture like the child has some scales. On one side now piled a bunch of anger, hatred, and anger. This Cup is tipped. And the second (empty) – flew up. The child have nothing to put here. He can feel only one emotion (range of emotions) in time. By the way, so the younger the child, the more explicit cartoons, books and movies for him. He sees there Goodies and negative. No halftones. "Good" hero and a "bad" hero. Differently child not yet able to perceive. And so is his "mother bad, will leave you" when he gets angry. And "hate the Earring, even if he were never born better!".

as they Mature, under favorable conditions, development, in addition to the experience of anger/hate, the child develops in the same situation to feel something else, in addition to the aforementioned emotions/feelings. Thanks to this new, balance, sooner or later he will be able not to hit. It will look something like this: "I hate this, Kolka! He broke my sand castle! Now as hit him on the head with a shovel!", and then: "But nick's my brother, I love him, and all he is still small, do not understand anything... I hate him now, but I love him... I will Not beat him". If you go back to the picture "internal weights", it is as if the second scale put something else (in our case, the love of brother condescension to age). "And then mom will be mad later" can also be put on the scales and therefore do not strike. But here are a few from adulthood, but rather under the "mother zarugaet" intense fear, he balances. And, in my opinion, this is not the best option though.

All of this is not analyzed by the child like the way I painted. But something like this happens. Someone more consciously at this point he thinks/feels, someone less. But the result is – the child is not hit. He gets angry, he shouts, he cries, he stamps his feet, but does not harm Another. But not every adult can.

same with shouting. You can be angry and not to yell at the Other, not to call him insulting words. But, as in the previous example, we need integration. It also gives you the opportunity not to believe in a hero/human being uniquely bad or uniquely good, and to see that it is different. Here he did himself, and in that situation behaved very decent.

a good example of a person with "neuroses" integration – a fanatic of any Ambassador (note – not a fan, but a fanatic). Whether football, hockey do, whether musical, political, religious Lee, grafting/antiprivivochnaya, allopathic/homeopathic... the more people categorically than less willing to admit the existence of other opinions, to respect and listen to them – the more integration problems. The world for him is black or white. To prevent that the same phenomenon/situation/person there is always good And bad that the same can be viewed from different angles and to see different, such a person is difficult, and sometimes impossible. And then, "there are only two opinions: mine and wrong".

live about containerevent (https://www.b17.ru/media/20453/) I told how mom containerwe of the child in its infancy and as it grows. It balances out the strong concern of the child for its tranquility. He feels hypersensitive to the emotions of their portability. She Is A Stable Mother. And about her child learning to be. He can't learn it quickly – ripening integration takes time. But, over and over again making sure that what his "stomps", without destroying his mother that his emotions are quite portable for it that they are taken - and the relationship with the mother thus remain reliable, and the mother remains in contact, not distanciruemsa, not panic, not react anxious, the child gains knowledge and experience. And, "having grown" gradually, the fruits of integration can then be sustainable itself. Age-appropriate, of course. According to their abilities.

what are those adults that unbalanced? Which in 30-40-50 often "makes" bursting with emotion? You can sympathize with the fact that in childhood they did not have a steady-moms-in-touch. There were no conditions for the maturation of the ability to balance, to integrate. And you (Yes, 30, and 40 and 50 and later) to go "to catch up" - with steady-therapist-in-contact. I know that as a customer, been and are in psychotherapy. And I should know as a therapist that helps its clients to learn and gradually grow up, "to Mature".

P. S. 1: When level-headed people are not a resource – it becomes unstable. At least because of baseresource itself is not balance. If roughly represent everyday life, household routine, as balancing business and life, then the picture with one of the internal weights of the scales will be devastated and will go up (a resource), the second bowl will tend to the earth, maybe loaded with cases, all sorts of "must" and "should". Restoring the resource, we will return thus an internal scale in a state of approximate balance. And reclaim balance (if it is familiar and habitual to us).

P. S. 2: Still about integration can be found in the book Dagmar Neubronner "Understanding children" and the book by Deborah McNamara's "Rest. Game. Development".

what would be A "balanced man"?

Larisa intercession
2018-09-27
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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