Утро... Воскресенье... За окном толи снег толи дождь... А тебе лет 10, может больше... Ты подросток..


Morning... Sunday...
outside the window the snow toli toli rain...
And you10years, maybe more...
You're a teenager..
Remember yourself as a teenager and you will understand the teenagers in the circle itself...
In fact, looking back we realize how wonderful a time it was, BUT then in our mind is racing with thoughts: "I'm a teenager.... I don't want anything.... I'm a person.... I want to die.... and no, I want to live.... And no, I want a tattoo.... And no, I want to dye my hair... no, a good shave, and no, I don't.... Or do you want... And not want, shit..."

what now? We forgot about it and no longer understand the youth of the 21st century.
They are beautiful, exploring, mocking - guarded, with their views on this life, from his perspective, with his wisdom and with a little case experience through your own mistakes. br>
They do not need your pesky morals. They feel alone in the vast world of people, where almost no one understands...

Teenagers are very afraid to not be accepted by the society outside the family. It is important for them to be amongst "his". They really want love, but after meeting with her, I don't know what to do. Afraid to be humiliated, rejected, unrecognized. br>
Im not comfortable with my body, they are ashamed of him and show it different. It is changing rapidly. Want to be irresistible, but the feeling of perfection is present every time I look in the mirror, their own shortcomings, which are often underlined and adults: "what are you wearing", "go, wash", "slouching again", "where'd you get that"...

Where in this case they seek support? Friends? So they are not too experienced...

Adolescents experience anxiety when parting with a child. Starts adult life and a lot of questions. "What lies ahead? Can I do it? What if nothing happens?" The uncertainty of the future. Teenager shows his concern, hiding it behind a mask of "apathy", cynicism, sarcasm, irritation or "withdrawal". br>
Why? Quite simply, he is afraid that his feelings will be ridiculed like appearance, which I mentioned earlier... Think about it...

Teenagers do not want to understand what the parents feel, because I think that no one understands. They vaguely interpret. They do not take the world, but crave the adoption of this world. And hard world teaches and gives experience... a Wild experience of pain, betrayal, disappointment and the list goes on... You need acceptance, faith, unconditional love, respect for the personality of a teenager...

Yes, teen unbearable personality: aggressive, scared, anxious, shy, explosive and emotional. But this person is studying, the most important being human free and independent, and collects their cones of knowledge. Accept it and remember that sometimes even themselves and their environment, peers of the same age. You wanted independence...

They are angry because they feel their dependence on adults, especially from parents: material, physical, emotional. They love their parents, but they are so difficult to show love. They need to get out of the "fusion family" in order to find their place in life, to become independent. To be sunadokei their parents is not enough. So will not succeed in life. Need something to stand out from the gray mass, your own uniqueness. They begin to look for role models outside your family. You don't need to fear that your child "will get into bad company", "break" or "die." Psychologically healthy teenager will find "ways of survival". br>
have You decided who will become a teenager , I wish there was no crisis, that your child remained obedient, a good student, preparing for admission to the Institute, didn't think ahead of time about the opposite sex, was neat and affectionate, spoke literary language, not slang, read fiction and have paid everything that you want, forgetting about their personality and their desires... But you probably forgot that the rebellion important? Why? the
Quiet teenagers can get depressed, become sad, apathetic. They keep a diary, because there is no one to open, not close. Much worse if there was no crisis at all, because he suddenly "catch up", only a later age, destroying much in its path, and draws a "Want" not implemented. br>
What are parents to do to help yourself and your teen to survive the crisis of adolescence transition to adulthood:
1. Know that crisis is inevitable! Prepare and "pass" it as inevitable, with the least emotional cost. (Easy to say!) But warned is "armed" and without "bloodshed."
2. To support him, even when it seems ugly, clumsy, ill-mannered, bad, not successful. To talk about the fact that they themselves experienced similar feelings that it's all gone.
3. To realize that you can't control your child, he has grown, he has secrets and personal life, where you become less. He will leave the parental home, then to return for adults and happy. But if you "hold" it might speed even more to infantile or adult, forever "tied to Mama's skirt". (Maybe it is still better to allow to grow up, to grow, to become independent, successful, happy?)
4. To understand that he still loves, respects, but he just needs to destroy your credibility in the future not to fall under foreign influence.
5. Love him, believe in him, to respect his passion.
6. Stand back, but be there to support when he asks you about it!
7. Let your life more talking and hugging.

"Adolescents need a silent listener who will not leave them their own words back, and they know he loves them, understands how they suffer..." Dolto F.

Your experience is your mistakes. So allow your teen to be happy from their own mistakes. br>
If you are having difficulty or your teenager, you can always turn to the psychologist and he will guide the right path. © Bugaeva Katherine is a practicing psychologist, consultant art therapist.

P. S If you're a teenager and you've read this article, you realize that your loved ones made mistakes too and want what's best. They are the first parents of such a teenager like you, help them, don't get mad at them and hug them often

Katerina Burdaeva
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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