Уязвимость в близости

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Only by knowing yourself can see the Other as he is, without projections. In Another we see what we reject in ourselves. And we love in Another what we love and accept myself. And what we don't like about yourself, Another will hate.

Gathering all yourself, you will see the Other as Other and not as a reflection of yourself. That is, seeing all my sides.

What does this mean? This means that the external World is only a reflection of inner reality. It is important to be aware of. Not someone bad, not "the Other me goes bad", and I allow you to do anyway. This is not Another offends me, it makes me feel vulnerable, and then it seems to me that the Other aggressive with me and I have to defend myself. To feel the vulnerability and weakness in a relationship is normal. Each person needs to feel safe and secure. The question here is how this is recognised and understood, if at all.

When you think that you are attacked close, you start to defend yourself - this signal comes not from strength but from weakness. From fear to be vulnerable. It comes from the reptilian brain, the oldest part of the brain. When this fear helped to survive. But now you don't need it, it doesn't save life, it spoils the relationship.

Now it is important to include the neocortex, and to say: I feel your vulnerability when you're talking to me in a raised voice. Or: I'm vulnerable when I'm telling you about my feelings.

In a moment of vulnerability is aggression to his own weakness, it may be in the form of blame or resentment toward the partner. And aggression to force partner.

But the true manifestation of power is to see his vulnerability. Your shadow side. To realize that it is not "someone not like I need", and not "to me that something was wrong."

let's see what is the vulnerability.

First, take a sober look at ourselves and to Another. Because vulnerability is an integral part of human relations. In situations of vulnerability, we got to know each other and become closer.

Second, the vulnerability helps to avoid confusion - bent to confirm its point of view. Share your emotions and feelings, ask questions - it's quite embarrassing, it seems that condemn or criticize, or sastadit zavidovat. But the only way there can be new ideas, views, and the only way we know ourselves, our feelings and Other's feelings.

the feeling of vulnerability is in our favor. It increases our productivity. In a state of comfort and peace we work with the same performance, but for best results you need a bit of stress, so if you feel vulnerable means you are moving forward in your relationship is growth. But too much stress affects the opposite. If the vulnerability causes panic, or you know that can't handle themselves, try to find an optimal solution, or to work with the specialist.

How to overcome the fear of vulnerability.

1. To tell the truth.

2. To ask for help.

3. To say "no."

4. To cultivate mindfulness (meditation, painting, massage, bracelet reminder, and record their worries and fears).

Safina Gulshat
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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