"В 333 раз на те же грабли"

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Why is ONE insult can ruin the woman's life.

Divorce, break up, he left, he left you behind, the sun was darkened, the world was slipping from under his feet, and inside the heart is empty.

And thoughts - sometimes anger and hatred towards him, sometimes a sense of guilt: "what have I done wrong? What if I'd done something differently, maybe he wouldn't have left"?

And resentment - resentment at him, and then mad at myself, for friends, for something that is not broke relationship with him, and after some time the insult to the whole world: "why me, what did I do wrong"?

And the worst thing is that this resentment now will live on and on, letting its roots as metastases, in the hereafter.

Many of you have read in the psychological literature that offense-the psychological trauma is often called the "frozen child". No matter whether it was in childhood, in youth, in youth or later - this "frozen child" lives in the psyche and continues to poison life.

And you can entertain the thought: "I'm strong, I've lived it, I let go, I already don't remember, I forgave him".

But why did half the women in unofficial conversation after a glass of champagne for the hundredth time: "All men goats" (not my opinion)

it so Happens that in the event of a new relationship - everything is going according to the old scenario, and you think: "333 times on the same rake"?

Why the emergence of new relations - the same behavior, the same offense?

And where does the fear of new relationships, fear, the same fear that "gets the same"....l", fear that all this will end in a breakup.

And slowly, the woman begins to feel less and less believe men, passing the "magical" capabilities, which gives her the universe.


the pain those negative experiences that remain "on the subcortex" after at least one of resentment, continue to live in the psyche.

you May not feel it, perhaps you "scored" it into your subconscious, but in such a situation, when you meet a new man, the old resentment starting to appear, and subconsciously you expect from this men some "trick", I think that he will abandon you, and you will again be alone.

Your unconscious reflects your experiences and projects them onto your behavior, your posture, your words, your facial expressions, your tone. And even if the man Destiny has chosen for you and it to you a warm and serious relationship, what he sees on your face, scares him.

He begins to think: "What's wrong with me"? And again, unconsciously, begins to behave with you the way you expect.

Psychologists call this the self-fulfilling prophecies!

Therefore, even if the offense was with you for a long time, even if you think you forgot it, refer to a specialist. The psychologist will help you work through this trauma-the offense completely!

How to understand that you have worked on his offense?

If feelings about this man do not carry any negative connotations, it means that you've been hurt.

If there is at least some nuances of anger, hatred, guilt, sense of shame, then the offense is not established.

you Need to see a psychologist to find out why your relationships always have the same negative scenario and why you can't build a warm, sincere and, most importantly, mutual relationship!

Maybe under the influence of your offense, you give more than you get!

You will be surprised, but using special techniques, you will be able to work on your offense for 1 to 2 hours!

Ilona Solodova - business coach, psychologist with 15 years of experience, women's coach, an expert on eliminating phobias, fears, resentments (psychological trauma), PA, of anxiety.

Solodova Ilona
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