international airport, the afternoon, the heat, the departure lounge, reception. Long queue and hismatullina children. I have a family of mom, girls 12 years old and boy 8 years. The boy starts to dance moonwalk Michael Jackson while holding his imaginary hat and something muttering under a nose. It looked elegant, in spite of the slightly overweight boy.
After the first attempt, sister, while keeping his eyes strictly grunted on brother so loudly and confidently that even I almost believed her words: "You do not, you NEVER will. Stop, wait quietly." The boy stood for a while, but decided to try to repeat a couple of times. But she stubbornly continued to stick to its guns, saying that "there floors are not slippery, you did not feet and generally when you go home, I'll show you how." She was so confident in himself and his words, as if to say that even for me, looking at me, and she seemed to feel themselves on top and over-Mature. The boy sighed sadly and turned away from his sister.
hoping to chat with somebody, he saw me and reciprocated his toothless smile. Without a second thought, he's a nut to begin a dialogue: "And we were at the hotel A., where are you?" "And we at hotel B. you swam?" "Yes, and the sea swimming and swimming....." He talked and talked and talked. And I listened and smiled and occasionally happy children's openness and sincere smile. It lasted so long, until I saw the corner of his eye that his sister stubbornly pushes mom in the shoulder and whisper requires to pick up my brother from the "captivity of communication with strangers." The boy's mother without hesitation, after listening to his daughter, grabs his son's arm, pulls him to her with the words "Stop talking, get away from people." What she immediately replied: "do you feel sorry for what?"
the Woman standing sideways to me and seeing my face, turned to face me and asked: "WHAT's that"? There was a feeling that she either wanted to hear or thought that he had misheard. What I told her, not angrily, but with a little cold smile and loudly repeated, "YOU SORRY for WHAT?" She is clearly confused. I probably answered it for the first time. She was silent for some time and didn't know what to say. I continued: "And what if I gonna have a little talk with your son?" The woman, as if apologizing, began to explain that the son is permanently "adheres to all" with their talk and "go to people". I felt she was ashamed of him. (For him, for what, open and communicative??) I felt that her shame and understand the severity of his unbearable and only added: "it's okay, I wonder."
the Woman slowly released the child from his embrace, as if resolving back closer to me and continue the conversation. It is evident that she was in complete confusion from what was happening, and the boy was just full of joy. Probably from the fact that they need to communicate, and from the fact that at least someone stood up. With even more enthusiasm, we continued to tell each other about the rest. There and pulled my son. We found out that the boy never went to the water Park, and really wanted to.
When we switched to soccer, mom stiffened again, and began to turn around to the son, and hush, that is enough to tell me where you are and what you do. When the boy showed us faking, I said it was sooooo cool and he's pretty good. The young player stuck for a while with a serious face, there was a feeling that his brain had long processed the new information, which he heard perhaps for the first time. Then he smiled in his toothless mouth more than ever and began to pozvati them again and again and again. Probably as if to say to me, well, praise again, again and again. I praised and praised and praised....while the woman loudly shouted: "ENOUGH, turn all the same". The boy decided to continue the story about the coach and how to properly serve pass. There could not to get involved in our conversation my husband. After another replica of her husband, the woman turned to him and apologizing now in front of him (Say you got poor there) "whisper type", "tipo ear"( leaning the hand to the mouth) for the whole room said, "He's just up to 4 years have not spoken, now broke and we can not stop". My husband did not know what to say. And maybe the answer is nothing.
This is our reality, that we are with their attitudes, views and their experience is often so live and do not notice how we repeat the system of education, which we had in childhood. We carry a long thread of all those patterns of interaction, statements of our parents, those manners of communication, which resisted themselves in childhood. We, as parents, do not notice how underestimate his criticism and reproaches the child's self-esteem.
we Can assume that such a grown up boy then will sit in the disco and not to go dancing. At the same time all friends of course he will say he wants to sit. But in the ears far, far away will ring the sister's voice, "you NEVER will". And then he will not be able to ask on the street how to get to him because everyone is in a hurry and did not distract. Or how he would get acquainted with a girl? Grow up introverted and always silent in companies? What??? We can only dream on the subject. God forbid that my fantasies did not come true. But still hard to see how we are killing children's wisdom, openness, ease their installations and "cockroaches".