В отношениях, нам нужны ссоры и конфликты

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In relationships, we need quarrels and conflicts. 

a Relationship without quarrels and conflicts, the dream of everyone. And when the relationship "start", when there was still "the horror" often we like to think that this story is not about us, my/mine, no fight and no conflict will not. 

Such ideas, generators of illusions about a happy, perfect relationship. They have nothing to do with what actually happens, as a product of our own IDEAS (that in ideal relationships, people do not swear, do not quarrel, do not conflict), NEEDS (that we always loved and cared for, and conflict means that we do not like us and don't care), FEAR (what if there is a quarrel or conflict, perhaps he will be so serious that we break up and I will be alone/single. 

what's really going on that we don't know what's going on. We can explain this different things that our partner is insolent, lazy, afraid to take the next step in a relationship, not ready for a relationship because it behaves like a small child, too young, too old, too stupid, too smart, etc, etc. of the above, it is our thoughts, not him/her. They have to convey their thoughts to us with yelling, because we, as I wrote above, don't understand what's going on. Them all obviously, they don't understand that we don't understand and start "yelling" come into conflict, to explain already, we are fools, what's going on. Except, we don't listen to them, why do we need this, because we already know what happens (our partner insolent, lazy, afraid to take the next step in a relationship, not ready for a relationship because it behaves like a small child, too young, too old, too stupid, too smart etc etc), while staying in one of the biggest misconceptions about the other person, the essence of which is that we know it, but it is not. 

Conflict in a relationship is the attempt of one partner to communicate to another about their intentions, desires, needs etc. which is important for him and for one reason or another are not accounted for, not satisfied, not fulfilled. 

I Want to draw your attention to the fact that it is an attempt. I don't write about what we're doing this right, it means that we can't because we are fine, but our partner just stupid to understand it. All may be so, and maybe Vice versa, maybe we are both stupid and unable to understand or to explain. Who knows.... 

But this does not negate the desire to explain what we still want. We want to, it's important to us, so we do what we can, and they do what they can, and all we can do such "things" that at times, it is somehow "heavy heart". (this mitigate the fact that sometimes really bad, when despair and depression become our companions, and "doomsday" nervously Smoking in aside, looking at what we're doing) 

my point is that we don't know what's going on and what we should do is to know. 

"You know the other person, if you know what he wants, what he needs." 

Conflict, it's not a problem, it's trying to solve "real problems". Which is that we don't know each other. Can you relate to the conflict negatively and be offended, and you can use this chance to know a person better and that he learned better than you.


2019-08-03
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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