В плену у призрака

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Like to work to music. Now in my headphones it sounds Dark Country -- the Phantom cowboys on Ghost horses gallop across the Prairie, thoughtfully, bathed in moonlight. Best atmosphere in order to talk about such a mystical thing as a love spell, or, in psychological language about the emotional dependency.

Imagine the situation. You live with a person for years, and all these years you are constantly faced with lack of understanding. You carry on serious occasions and nothing. On weekdays, in the evening you don't want to go home after work, and weekend you are all waiting with horror. You are trying to share their problems with friends and they surprised to ask: "why are you still together?" You also constantly reflect on this question and do not find him a reasonable answer. Say to yourself and others: "I am holding something".

Those who fall into emotional dependency, you may recognize yourself in this description. Those fortunate to avoid this – do not believe that it happens. Believe me, it happens. Very similar to love spell. Strange the desire to preserve relationships at all costs... in Spite of himself, his comfort, Yes, comfort, even health!

So what keeps people in such gloomy and heavy relationship. Bindings a lot. Here and fear that no one else will, and purely material anchor in the form of Finance, shared housing, children, and the influence of various stereotypes, such as "divorce, only losers." With these issues relatively simple to handle enough support of family and competent legal support. But there is one binding that is very difficult to break hope. People tend to hope that someday things will get better and be "good." Where did it come from? What makes us wait for improvements? The consequences of our love. After all, all relationships start with her. Then, it can grow into love, but maybe not.

As there is love? In process-oriented psychology, it is regarded as a complement to itself, to the whole. We are born complete beings. In the process of life, we learn that some of the quality to be possible and "good" and others not "bad." But the "forbidden" qualities did not disappear, they are in need of manifestation. Consequently, we unconsciously seek them "legalized" for example, you can see them in the other person and declare it his "soul mate" and fall in love with him... At the same time, the other qualities of this person we don't notice. But love is ephemeral, it passes and then it turns out that living with this man is impossible...

in fact, emotional dependence is the dependence of the Ghost, created by love. This phantom" has little in common with a live person, but dependent hopes that one day the Ghost will manifest itself in real life. This is a well written Oleg Grigoriev (online distorted version attributed to Mayakovsky)

"a Wife I don't Huy,

And never leave it.

This to me it became bad,

he Took her I'm good."

waiting men and women that their partner will become "good", and it is not becoming and not becoming.

What can you do? The most reliable option is to seek the assistance of another person. Dependence really distorts the perception of the game in your sleep, does not Wake up. Need someone independent who can support you in your fight for freedom. The easiest way is to hire a good psychologist.

But if you are not willing to seek the assistance of external resources, something that can be done independently.

first, recognize that you have a dependence, not "love." The main difference depends on love is that love does no harm to physical and mental health, on the contrary, it gives strength to overcome the inevitable difficulties in the relationship. Therefore, if you can no longer tolerate the suffering, you have no strength to look for solutions of conflict, but leave you can't, so that's a dependency.

second, consider the situation in everyday reality. On paper make a list of everything you expect from a partner. Then a list of what partner really gives you. Compare these lists. If the differences are striking, so are you in love with a Ghost. The probability that your expectations will be fulfilled, tends to zero.

third, to work on the space level of dreams - take its Power from a Ghost. In the second paragraph you made a list of their expectations. Imagine how would look your partner if would meet these expectations? How would he behave? Play the resulting image. Pay attention to how you feel? How would you live if you could behave? What qualities are added to your ordinary "I"? Where in your life do you lack these qualities? How would you implement them safely for themselves and others? When you are able to recognize and assign the qualities that you gave the Ghost, it will shatter, will become unnecessary.

fourth, consider a situation with intrinsic level. Imagine the flow of the Universal Wisdom, whatever it is. Listen to your body. Where in the body you feel a connection with this thread? Through breathing strengthen this relationship, allow yourself to connect with the Wisdom of the Universe... View of this experience on their relationship. What are they like? If you were infinitely wise being, who organized the meeting of these people, then why would you have them connected? What is the plan of this play? What is the idea embodied in the interaction of these people? Can they somehow to comprehend this idea? What is going to happen when that happens?

make a Note of all the responses, new ideas, open. They very quickly evaporate. Start to bring them to life and watch for changes...

If you feel that you cannot work alone, so the addiction is actively resisting. Then, after all, look for sensible specialist, of course, if you want to get free from the power of the Ghost and Wake up from the painful dream, which has turned your relationship.

Kurenchanin Alex
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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