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let's Talk about trust. It all need to use all of it anyway looking for in a relationship. Most often it is associated with safety, sense of security, warmth and comfort. Trust is selected as main conditions for a truly enjoyable sex, for intimate conversation, for readiness to do something together. It is directly related to closeness and intimacy. Many speak about the impossibility to build a trusting relationship. There is always some sort of threat. For example, the partner may not be what was expected. His new face may disappoint. His reaction to something in me or in my behavior can hurt me. Partner may cheat on me, betray me and our relationship. To love, to quit. To start of moral decay, degrade. There are no guarantees for the future. This hard to accept. Someone seeks solace in illusion that the stamp in the passport will provide sustainability. Someone lives from love to love, because in this state there comes euphoria, and the global denial of the possible risks and consequences. They will come, come along with them, and disappointment. Relationship ends, start the next. Maybe the new love will be more reliable the previous one. Anything, only not to face, face to face with the inability of a lifetime warranty on the partner. Someone prefers not even to start a relationship, because it's safer. Someone translates quality into quantity, and love in physical sex, and changes partners as toothbrushes. And quite often people have a fantasy, conscious or unconscious, that their happiness depends on whether they find the right person or not. It seems that one has only to meet him and build trust, as there will be consciousness, brightness and fullness of life. So people continue to search and/or wait.
However, the question of trust, like many other issues of the wing, has deeper origins than relations with the opposite sex. It is rooted in the relationship with the world in General. Originating in couple mother-child, where the mother's task is to ensure the permanence and safety, trust permeates all spheres of human existence. If you look broadly, life itself is an act of trust in the universe. After all, we do not have any guarantees. We are not immune from disease, disasters, accidents, defaults, layoffs, and fires. We can't even control the most important things and events in life. And then the act of faith will live, despite the lack of guarantees. How is this possible? Because of the faith in its integrity. The belief that even if something terrible happens, we'll deal with it. This faith is laid in infancy. The child is painfully experiencing the absence of his mother, his crumbling world, when it is not. So if she leaves for exactly the time that it can withstand, he learns to cope with their feelings. If it goes longer, it starts to destroy inside her, and himself. If it comes too early or not leaving at all, he is not getting growth opportunities. br>
One of the most important factors of building a successful and trusting relationship is a deep belief that without these relationships, life will go on, and will have the paint taste and sense. br>
What can I do, if such trust to the world is not and the relationship is not working? A good way of developing within themselves the ability to trust is participation in a group analytic group. The group reiterates largely the phases of individual human development and allows you to relive many fundamental aspects of development. And the group as a good enough mom, its frequency of meetings once a week, provide an opportunity for the emergence of a solid unconscious belief that whatever happens, the group will. Even if I'm in the group "badly" behaved, the group will. Even if I do not come, the group will still meet. This creates a basis for formation of trust to the world, and opens doors to build a trusted relationship.

© Darin of Janina, Wonderfamily

Janina Darina
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