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Why in times of family life, sexual desire of the spouses to each other weakens or even fades away?

Often lost libido in women and to avoid sex, they begin to complain of headaches, come up with a job that needs to be done late, etc.

the Reasons may be different - from "was the stuff of life" to "stopped loving", etc.

However, the sexologists of the psychoanalytic direction in the course of therapy couples has revealed yet another reason for the decline in sexual desire - moving wife spouse figures his father.

typically, the difficulty of obtaining sexual pleasure in a safe family life are women whose relationship with his father wore incestuous, sadistic character, if the figure of the father in the representation of women is associated with rejection, betrayal, fear of absorption.

At the stage of rendezvous, the beginning of a relationship, the woman is interested is to fall in love with a man but because it artificially can create vivid, emotionally intense sex, how to fake orgasms to please man, to impress him. However, when the period of conquest ends and a man stands before a woman in everyday situations, he begins to remind her of her father, which is not always associated with warm memories.

for example, one woman remembered during his analysis, as the father was drunk and went by night to her bed, touched her Breasts and exposed genitals, forced to take up his naked wet cock.

At that moment, she felt a mixture of excitement and disgust, she was afraid that she would have to perform for father's marital function, which refused to comply with her mother and thus turned a blind eye to the fact that her husband goes into the bedroom to her daughter.

In the period of his married life, when the woman turned in bed to her husband back and felt like it rests on his naked cock, it was embraced by disgust and all sexual desire evaporated.

Sex is easier to give, when the woman resorted to psychological security, was in an alcohol intoxication, went into a fantasy world or dissociated (imagine that this happens not with her, she's just watching someone from the side).

Also it was hard for her to watch during sex in the eyes of the husband, to call him by his name, she preferred to be with her back to him, thus avoiding real intimacy and encounters with reality.

her Husband complained of her coldness, detachment and took it as rejection. Feeling rejected, he has built up tension, and then fell on the wife, which does not bring harmony in their sexual life. A man resembling a woman of her aggressive father.

At the same time, she has applied this kind of protection as projective identification, unconsciously recreating the sadomasochistic relationship model of his parents. She accused her husband of aggression, compared him with his father, encouraging him to behave this way towards her. Thus, the woman received the confirmation of his projection that the husband is the same monster that was her father. She justified the lack to it of sexual desire. How can you want sex with the enemy?

After the outbreak of aggression, the husband felt guilty and was controlled for his wife, could drink, showing his weakness and povergnet. When his wife saw him weak and submissive, she began to feel sexy lift and that's when she showed the initiative in sex.

Thus, their relations are entrenched and reproduced the same pattern, a kind of part of the sex games. But, the true fears and motivations continued to remain in the shadows.