В школу с адвокатом. Как Лана училась выстраивать границы в 35 лет

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To school with a lawyer. Lana learned to build boundaries in35years

Before you enter the classroom, Lana quietly crossed himself and whispered, “Well, with God.” Excitement I shook hands and was treacherously broken voice.

- Tamara, can you?

Ahhh, come on! - Tamara postponed the notebook and stood up from behind the teacher's Desk. - Can you imagine - what a cheek! Get a sandwich at the lesson! To be disrespectful to an entire class, to the teacher! I hope You take action? I told her off in front of the class and made to stand before the bell in the corner. Let her that will be long remembered! Be a lesson for life!

- that's what I wanted to talk to You.

Lana was afraid of a strict teacher and her angry voice. Before the formidable authority of senior women she wanted to shrink to the minimum size and disappear. To say that she got the message, repented, and her daughter do not dare to behave so arrogantly and disgusting. It will be the most quiet and obedient in class. Just don't stand under the icy barrage of accusations and not feel small.

She she would have already surrendered. But ICQ. ICQ is her treasure. Joy, love and the meaning of life. ICQ now sits on the first floor near the Concierge and hopes. Hopes that her mom will make it better. What kids won't tease her hungry glutton, and the teacher will stop making her feel stupid and wrong in front of the whole class, encouraging taunts in her direction. For ICQ it is necessary to make this life something crazy. Maybe something happens with these boundaries. And ICQ will grow up confident, happy and free from the opinion of others.

- Tamara. Asya course, there is a lesson not good. But she was hungry, we don't have time to eat Breakfast before school, it's my fault. And maybe I shouldn't have put her in the corner. Maybe it was enough to just put the sandwich in the briefcase and eat it at recess. Asya very worried because of this case. The other children laugh at her. And she doesn't want to go to school.

- do You want it on the head of the village and completely unbelted?! Beginning with the sandwich, and what will be done? Where will be? On the panel? I am a teacher with twenty years of experience. And not like Asya broke. How many students have passed through my hands. They have me on strunecka all went. Quickly assimilate what is good and what is bad.

- Tamara, is it possible that You not punished so severely Ah. Was it softer? To take into account its sensitivity?

- I for all children treated, treat and will equally. And Asya - all the same. You tell me you'll thank me when I make it man!

- So do not agree?

Lana for a moment he closed his eyes and held his breath. There is no turning back. She wasn't sure that doing the right thing. “Whether that will eventually translate ICQ into another school.”

- Then I'll have to call my lawyer.

Lana opened the door and looked out into the corridor.

- Olga Borisovna, I will need Your help.

In the class of a confident young woman entered. In a strict business suit. White blouse with a sharp collar, a jacket and pencil skirt just below the knee. Flawless, smoothly combed, gathered high on the back of the head, hair. Thick-rimmed glasses.

Hello! I - Olga B. stern, attorney. I represent the interests of Asya Andreevna Zvonik and her mother Svetlana Sergeevna Potapovoj. Tamara, with Your hand against Asya Andreevna was applied a personal insult. Under the law, abuse refers to the humiliation of honor and dignity in an indecent form. We are preparing a claim to submit it to the court. You can get a fine for causing moral damages. If You accept responsibility and commit themselves not to use personal abuse, to education, to ACE Andreyevna and other students, the matter can be solved peacefully. Are you ready to accept responsibility? Or do I need to prepare a claim? Think a few minutes before you make a decision. Of course, if You decide to resolve this conflict in a peaceful way - then everything will remain between us.

Tamara silently back on his teacher's Desk. She did not look towards Asinou mom, which for some reason brought to school a lawyer. She stared at the stack of notebooks that were checked before someone knocked on the door. For the whole of its history this had not happened.

it Happened that they came with threats and demands. Their Tamara not Balas, gave the insolent rebuff, and even their children turned then close attention. Sometimes that failed, transferred their kids to another school. The last word always was for her. It happened that fawned. Wore candies, coffee and other gifts. To this, she was supportive. All she had to encourage the child such kind and understanding parents. And then the lawyer, courts, fines. Tamara imagined standing before a judge to defend their honor and dignity, and she stabbed the heart. Not to be this shame in her dear years.

- So what are you saying? Be to ACE more soft? To take into account its sensitivity? Once again to praise, to motivate? And if you see someone teasing Asya Zvoncic.

I'm glad we were able to negotiate peacefully, Tamara.

Olga B. stern approached the teacher's Desk. Tamara stood up and shook the outstretched hand Olgino. Look at her she just couldn't.

- Thank You, Tamara for your understanding! Lana pressed her hands to her heart in a thankful gesture. Have a good weekend.

Tamara didn't answer. Girls withdrew from the class, quietly closing the door behind him.

- I Think we did it! - Olya whispered, hugging her friend by the shoulders. - We definitely need to celebrate!

Olya, I still have to recover. Come to ICQ. She has been waiting for.

And the girlfriend ran down the stairs, jumping over the steps.

When Asya saw the worried face of a mother, she felt that in her life something has changed. Has changed for the better. Behind her began to hatch wings. She was calm and confident. She looked at mom. Mom was so beautiful.

- Mommy, you're the best mom in the world - Asya buried in mother's warm embrace. Lana kissed Asya to the top.


And the day before:

- Imagine, ICQ got a sandwich on a math lesson. In the morning the alarm clock somehow didn't ring. Woke up and time had much ogogo. Jumped up and ran to school. No Breakfast, even the wash did not really have time. Well your lunch in the evening prepared. Im hungry and could not resist. And Tamara jumped to her Desk and began to read “there Is a need, a shame as you have thought of this - there is the lesson! Shame on you!” Made in the trash the sandwich to throw out. And ICQ into a corner set for the entire class. Children used to tease her after that. ICQ house cried, said the school will not go, and the teacher hates. How can you! Everywhere saying that children should be respected and the teacher is wrong!

Lana emotionally waving his hands, knocking the mug of tea. She is glad that she went to see her for an hour after work, taking from the supermarket Lanini favorite chocolate cakes. After the divorce she was going through a lot.Resentment against ex-husband who left. Played the play four hands, and left only two. The search for a new house and moving to a rented apartment. Although for Lana, as for the realtor, it was the easiest. ICQ has gone to the first class, you need to do with it, lessons to carry to school, to follow school uniforms and notebooks for these compulsory margins: two or four cells down, ten cells to the right. Mom, unhappy, often calling, blaming Lana for everything that happened.From cheerful girl, she became a lonely woman with problems.Only now, sitting with Olga in a small kitchen, eating cakes, she felt like she lacks the warm, soulful conversations.

- Here... szarata! What will you do? Talk to the teacher? - Oli was simple - if someone, especially a child, have been treated unfairly, we need to understand and to restore justice.

- what can I do? I would ask Asking dad to go to school, talk to Tamara. But you know his position - if punished, so was reason. And the fact that ICQ shame burned in front of the class - do not worry - I will survive. And will not do it. His work, personal life. He and ASKA-something not always seen at weekends, especially not going to strain yourself by going to school.

- But you're her mother. You have to stand up for your child, make her feel protected. It's your responsibility as a parent, Olya was determined.

for Others, but for me, who stood up? Teachers know best who is right. I turned out, did not sloppy.

- yeah, rose. You're every word is superfluous to say I'm afraid. Boss at work I'm afraid, my mother afraid of the sellers in the store when they look at you menacingly. So inside remained hesitant, timid girl who fears she will be punished. That ICQ, the school has seen a blow to the self esteem. Don't intercede it will cease to believe in its normality. Will continue to live so as not to trouble and not being ashamed. You're thirty-five. You can already start to defend their borders.

Yes, that all told each of iron about the border! In theory so beautiful about them is filled with Nightingale. But in real life? There's ICQ, which eats a sandwich on math. There's Tamara, who sincerely believes that education is a hoot, ridicule, punishment and shame. How can you defend the border?

- I have an idea.


How often in life we face situations where our boundaries have been violated? Sometimes to defend its borders not just not accustomed to. Easier to endure, to accept, to swallow. And yet... If you decide to try? Even thirty-five.

Julia Oleh
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