Vampirism, the consumption of someone else's energy, hidden aggression is when Your partner undermines You provocative questions or statements on the basis of their own reasoning."I see you lean, hungry - to hold another piece of cake!"
"You look sad, why are you so bad?"
"are You blind/deaf?", etc. Approval, "you're skinny", "you're sad" and other characteristics, labels, inferences, evaluation of man - it is the same vampirism or hidden aggression. Answer to such outright aggression uncomfortable, embarrassing, inconvenient. And because it is important to distinguish between the aggression and a true desire to help.
in the second, when we think about the answer - we have already joined.
to Answer provocative questions is "waste" his internal energy.
And then produced a pair of "donor to vampire", "the victim tyrant" and so on. Responsibility however lies on both - one gives, another takes. to Get out of such relationships - can only be stopped to give/take unconscious. To reach the level of the reaction scheme: the "provocative question -> pause before answer -> thinking involved in the charity with their energy or not." If you included something to be aware of the price of this inclusion. By the way, the roles change from time to time in these relations.
to Keep a distance from each other in a couple in conflict situations is an opportunity for everyone to get their own space for development. And that doesn't mean not to talk, this means reducing the significance of the result. Where he can as the fruit develop, and to watch their reactions. Too close a relationship is a mixed border, it is not clear who where whose where emotions, feelings, reactions, even though it seems that clear. But at the end, it turns out that the situation is out of control. And all because in the beginning there was a step back - psychological distancing (not pridavanie of meaning excessive, which does not allow to tighten this "storm" of feelings).
know how to manage his energy the one who cares the most, one. With that thing to be the most interesting one even next to someone. That is, to think about her, about myself, take care of your body, feelings when there is someone else. Let's say, the anxiety in balance with the trust in the world. If You don't is a practicing consulting psychologist. br>
Distance* with others is a sign of love to himself, worries about his mental health.
*Psychological distance is the border, a certain topic of conversation, it's a personal psychological space, which is impossible. The more personal, the more distance. And distance is a pause in the conversation, is the ability to withstand this break. It switch your attention from the subject of conversation on your feelings. And so on.