the Syndrome of Peter pan: sweet rejection or socially dangerous disease?
Today, we are seeing a significant number of specific psychological abnormalities, but one of them deserves more attention because of the comparison with the literary hero. Syndrome of Peter pan ( or Puer), named by American psychologist Dan Kiley, is a psychological disorder and has interesting features.
everybody remembers this cartoon carefree boy who never grew up and didn't want to do.
He liked to be a child to create all sorts of pranks and communicate with their own kind. And although people with the syndrome of Peter pan do not run around with a slingshot at the ready, and not fight with the pirates, their behavior is largely similar to the behavior of a disney character.
This condition mostly inherent men, but sometimes it occurs in women. Like Peter pan, the representatives of the strong half of humanity are in constant childhood and do not want to grow up. At first glance there is nothing wrong, but in fact, this syndrome can ruin lives and leave people with nothing. Agree, it's hard to build a relationship with a man and rely on him when he behaves like a little boy. He is afraid to take responsibility, can not establish contact with peers and trying to live with their parents, despite their age.
a Characteristic feature of the human syndrome Peter pan is the reluctance to accept the reality and resolve the problem. He is constantly leaving it for later only to not make the effort to address them.
Eternal boy who has not attained the social maturity with self-centeredness, a kind of ostentation, seeking easy pleasure. Idealism and detachment from reality, a feeling of envy and immaturity. In more severe form can be expressed in isolation and psychopathy.
But there are positive qualities of the boys Puer is the ability to change the world, spontaneity, freedom of spirit, the ability to resist criticism.
these men developed a complex eternal Savior, delusions of grandeur. The ability to recognize themselves as an ordinary person.
Often a society with affection meets these eternal boys and forgives them childishness as long as their actions do not begin to wear asocial character. For example, the employer might turn a blind eye to periodic delays of a man with the syndrome of Peter pan, but when he ceases to come into the office because he wants to, of course, the attitude of the boss is changing.
As mentioned above, women too can have this pathology. As men, women need help from parents unable to establish a relationship with the opposite sex and are almost always dissatisfied with their appearance. For them it seems quite normal, if mom will let me dress, braid braids and dad to deal with people who somehow hurt his little Princess. Some women with the syndrome of Peter pan never starting a family and deal with men only as friends.
the idea that you will need to put aside your childhood and do things that make them disgusted. But if marriage and creates, keeps it short, because not every man is willing to live with a woman with the character and behavior of the little girl.
Eternal girls tend traits such as emotional instability, youthful idealism and youthful enthusiasm, the unwillingness to take responsibility and to carry it, they don't know how to solve problems, fear of interaction with the opposite sex. Everywhere there is manifested a kind of “childishness”, naive judgments
Many parents love their children, they are ready to old to care for them. And if their son/daughter a syndrome of Peter pan, they perceive the child's behavior as quite normal. However, they only aggravate the situation because their adult child is orphaned.
fortunately, people with such disorders can be helped. First and foremost, this should make the inner circle. Parents are advised to gently tell your adult child that there was a problem and to teach him to be independent. It is important for parents to find the strength to let go of the child to life!
If you can't handle your own efforts, you should consult a professional psychologist. It will help to understand the situation and take the right steps to fix it.
it is Worth noting that the syndrome of Peter pan is not a disease, therefore, the eternal boy or girl is quite able to understand this problem. Yes, at first it will be difficult to accept the fact that the child still goes, but the situation is gradually returning to normal. According to statistics, 50% of men with such disorders grow independently, but only to 40-50 years. By this age, they are usually left without parents, the attitude of the environment towards them changes, and it pushes the movement in a new way. However, the best years left so far behind.