This is a continuation of reflections on psychological distance.

As I have already suggested that psychological distance is determined by using a sense of comfort - discomfort and fear of rejection and absorption.

since psychological distance is determined between the two participants, the feeling of comfort - discomfort may be different for each of them.

where one partner in a relationship to comfortably have another fear of rejection or absorption.

And then there is a conflict.

Who and how sets a comfortable psychological distance?

This conflict one way or another takes place in any couples.

the Difference of upbringing , temperament, history, relationships , unmet needs create the preconditions for the preferences of this or that psychological distance.

And this view may seem in a certain period as the only true.

Suppose husband comfortable the psychological distance that has developed in the relationship.

the woman feels discomfort and some fear rejection , because it proposed husband psychological distance is too great and she would like a closer look.

If the pair of the right and the power to establish the nature of the relationship from her husband , she had to endure... or start fighting for power.

the fight may look different. As this is a conflict of interest, there are various types of confrontations, from the affective outbreaks to a constructive peregovoriv, quarrels from hot to cold neglect.

in our example a woman needs to achieve closer relations.

But the paradox is that if it will cause negative emotions to my husband directly claim the power, that he will cause discomfort and the fear of absorption , and therefore desire even more remote.

She could go more tricky by itself to move away , causing a fear of rejection from the husband, for example , to talk about the divorce, start to ache with the threat of death, which also cause the fear of loss and it will push her husband closer.

But suppose she had achieved one way or another its, and their relationship became closer and more comfortable. Now the husband should tolerate or ...

Such a swing is quite often seen in pairs.

Complicating this process is the fact that this process interferes with the satisfaction or dissatisfaction of needs recognition. Losing the power to establish a comfortable psychological distance , is lost twice : he can't satisfy your need for intimacy, and it turns out the loser in a competitive struggle for recognition.

But after winning , he turns at double the winnings.

This further hardens the fight.

In families where the woman has to retire for the birth and upbringing of children and the need for recognition and need to reach to satisfy through communication with her husband. He also took responsibility for the family , claim and the power to establish the psychological distance.

For the family can be a stressful crisis.

In each pair it is decided differently.

This is just one typical example in a relationship, which shows the importance of careful analysis of the dynamics of psychological distance.

Psychological distance in a relationship is perhaps the only reality , which causes the principal emotions of the partners.