"Все мужики - козлы!" или "Б-е-е-спредел в отношениях"

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that "all men are Dicks and all women are bitches" we heard time and again, especially from people who mourn for his difficult relationship with his other half. These (attention: spoiler!) stereotypical beliefs are very snug and is rooted in our candid conversations in the kitchen. How is it!? Meet a person and think that he/she is my ideal! Every date seems like a fairy tale: the heart beats fast, eyes shining, butterflies in the stomach, etc. it Seems that this man Bud created for you and you for him, and everything in it is absolutely. And there would be in the best traditions of Disney to write: "And they lived happily ever after" - but there it was. Time passes -- days, weeks, months, years - and you begin to notice that instead of the affection and the butterflies come anger, irritation and resentment. Your mate seemed to have changed! And the question is: how I haven't noticed before? Why this is so, we'll see.

Chapter 1: daddy's girl

I will Not retell all the good old theory of his grandfather Freud, will allocate only one idea: Daddy's girl's is the perfect example of men, as well as mother for the boy, is an example of a perfect woman. You may remember how in the childhood you thought that when you grow up, marry the mother, or marry the father. And let's outset: dads are different! Dads are caring, loving and gentle, and are demanding, devaluing and cold. There could be someone as lucky, but it was with a man you have to live life. And here it is very important how to lead with him mom, because that's exactly the pattern of behavior that we, girls, are adopting. No wonder they say that children are a reflection of the climate in the family. No matter how we tried to be independent and not to make parental mistakes, their influence does not disappear without a trace.



here is a simple example: often when we watch a movie with your favorite characters, we strive to be like their idols such as brave, beautiful, kind, etc. now imagine that the child is to choose the first, it, day in and day watching only that show his parents his behavior. Daddy hits mommy and she protected the girl learns that the man is the boss, the man is insecure, and she, the expectant woman should endure, has no voting rights, should be able to adapts to the mood of other people. Why, after watching this horror, this girl, as an adult, do not choose a good decent man? Yes, because it knows best how to behave with a tyrant, she doesn't know how to live with adequate human, it is not taught. Unfortunately, we often choose not what is best for us, and what is familiar, what is familiar to us. Of course, she will not look for a real villain consciously, but it will attract impulsive men, prone to aggression, cowardly, and she has these traits he will eventually "bloom".

If you are reading this and nedoumevala raise eyebrows, denying the influence of your parents on your relationship with your spouse, do a simple exercise: take a sheet of paper and divide it into two parts. In the first part, write down all the qualities your husband or his actions that you don't like, and secondly the same about your father. Similarly, men unable to write about wives and mothers. I assure You that not yet started to fill in the second column you will be surprised!

Chapter 2: I was blinded him from what was.

When the "honeymoon" ends, there is the harsh everyday life. Life together is not Dating 3 times a week when you can return to their homes and to their ordinary lifestyle. After the wedding, the task of the spouses to force these styles to coexist. There is a desire to make your mate "comfortably". What does it mean? Suppose the man of your dreams has always fascinated you with its brutal style: leather jacket, ripped jeans, motorcycle from him smelled of freedom and adventure! Is that the way to look like a family man? At work corporate and you want to have a man beside you looked "decent", because it affects the opinion of your colleagues primarily you how about the wife as the mistress. And the bike you will eventually force him to throw into the far corner of the garage or worse - to sell at all, because you prefer that the man spent more time with you, children, to do more to help around the house. Water, as they say, wears away the stone. And you will not notice how instead of independent men with you in the house suddenly appear like this homemade balding man in a Bathrobe and Slippers, casually prochesyvayuschie saggy tummy. There are pluses: a very jealous nature with such a man can completely relax and not think about other women. However, whether you want to live with such a man..? About this in the next Chapter.



as for the reverse side of the coin... men Often complain that their wives no longer to take care of myself, becoming angry and dobrushski. In this case, look at: perhaps from the wife you have at home was only the housekeeper.

Chapter 3 (sad): my attempt number 5

And here comes the moment when you finally are disappointed in family life and in your partner, and just continue to drift, when suddenly, on the horizon, there He was, so thoughtful, caring, strong (unlike your husband), he has an interesting hobby, he's not sitting at home, loves to travel - in your eyes again ignite the spark, in the stomach, long ago it would seem, drooping butterfly come to life, etc. You can understand after all this dullness and routine, which, will notice a peek you have created yourself, so you want something new, fresh, and romantic! But if you look closely, someone He remembers you... And the more time you spend with him, the more you go in feeling with the head, the more I notice that he is sooo like the man that you once married. At first it is hard to see, because you were so anxious to escape from him, but with time everything becomes clear. And now, you again get disappointed and conclude that all men are the same! In fact, it you stay the same person he was before. In order to meet someone else to build a new relationship, changes need to start with yourself, otherwise the cycle men in your life and will continue, assuring you that you're doomed to be unhappy.



Opinion

If the person that you choose to go through life, do you really care, don't rush to divorce and look for someone else who would make you happier, because the only person who can influence your happiness - is you! Talk about your feelings, respect personal boundaries and freedom to each other, and work primarily on themselves. In order to come to something new, you have to let go of the old.

Volkov, Olga Lagun
2018-04-04
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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