"I Want to change the boring work, but I can't!"
"I Want to break the hateful relationship, but I can't!"
"I Want to learn Spanish, but..."
And a lot of these phrases you hear daily from their relatives, acquaintances, friends. Perhaps what is "possible," certainly, you have often said something similar. How do you react to such statements? Someone accepts as a fact – it is wise. But, such people are few. Most, you start to give different arguments in favor of "want" and, naturally, faced with answers like, "Yes, but...". In the end, you get tired convince your interlocutor and you say to him: "you don't want!!!". You are right. Part.
Remember yourself in a similar situation. You are torn between the desire and impossibility to carry it out. You really don't see how it can be done. And in your face throw the charge, which seems fair and logical. "You just don't want to!". You shut up, go inside, and someone inside yells, "Yes, I want! Want! But... I can't!". Resentment, helplessness, sense of abandonment. Nasty feeling. Where it arises? Because you have not accepted entirely. Singled out one part of you. One that resists change. But there is another that wants to change. And nobody hears...
I used to, too, thought that the phrase: "willing but unable" - that is only an excuse. I also tried to pull friends, acquaintances, clients of the swamp of despondency, with sharp phrases, irony, sometimes even outright mockery. I insulted them with this... don't do that.
Ponder the meaning of these words: "willing but unable". Forget about what you've read on this topic. Just imagine vividly how this could be? In the Theory of inventive problem solving is: "Modeling of young men". Imagine that there are men with flags, "I Want!", other - flags "can't". How they interact with each other? Yes! They are fighting! Inside man is a bloody battle. When you say: "actually, you don't want, are you happy to stay in the ass!" - you keep only half of these men. Thus, you increase the conflict. More hurt. Yes, sometimes people get hurt, they perform feats, but this is an exception.
What to do? To follow the example of various peacekeepers. To divide the warring parties. To listen to each of them. To find a sensible negotiator who can be a mediator in resolving the situation. You must resolve this conflict. To teach men to interact with each other. Only then can real changes in life. Maybe it turns out that to change something now, indeed, harmful. There will be no pain. Will dialogue and a solution.
Dear readers! Be respectful to each other. Phrase: "willing but unable" - it's not about weakness, laziness, indecision, this is about the internal conflict.
Until next time!