it Happens that the partner doesn't have what You need. Even if you really really want. And then have this as something to do. If you look, options are not very many:
First. Torture the partner, persistently demanding from him what he is not (for example, to get, increased, learned, changed, managed and made!). For example, to become gentle and cared for, had a massage as did my mom, brought tea in the evening desired temperature, called several times a day and asked "How are you?" to at dinner told how the day went, loved(a) theater (Philharmonic hall, gym etc.) and went(and) with me there every week, etc.;
Second. To suffer the most (or the most), staying with this partner, not getting the desired. To suffer and complain to everyone how you are unhappy, as you are not lucky with her husband (wife), but not to go;
Third. Not to suffer, and to accept that partner is not, but to note that is, for example, different, something very valuable (cook, always keeps his word, loves, suffers of hysteria, ready to talk, sincere, etc.), but it is not deadly (compatible with the life of the relationship) eeee "flaw" or, like, limitation;
Fourth. To leave (after grieving for some time) and look for someone who has what you need, if it is not compatible with the life of the current relationship.
there may be a relationship in which both partners compete to see who are smaller and who is heavier (read: who is weaker, who is helpless, who is more tired today, or life, who seeks more suffering, unhappy, etc.). And then it looks like this (I am a previous picture underneath it is transformed in the following way).
These options stay in the relationship can be neosoznavaemye. They can be used and purchased from, for example, from the parent family. This method of "help" to avoid to see the other person with whom you are in a relationship or even married, and to see in this picture, only themselves and their needs.
With this we can understand therapy. Or workshop on "How to live your own life. The scripts that we write" (https://www.b17.ru/training.php?id=47300). Come to get acquainted with themselves and their partners!)