What can I help you?

Probably each of us, psychologists, asks a similar question, when he realizes that he is facing a much more complex and delicate issue. Especially if it's causesa love. Many times I have said in previous articles that the psychologist must comply with the delicacy...
"Ah! Have you got dependence!", - almost professionally waving, as if from some bullshit, she says...
"?", - asks a loving, sincere, full of creative ideas, thanks to this resource state, and as if these plans in the blink of an eye will collapse.

unfortunately, many of us, and I was young-inexperience, he loved to throw terminology. It seems like it's had some success, although using technical terms, sometimes we understand that remote from the people, turned to us for help.

From a conversation with N. I found out that girl for a long time can not forget her lover. She's older young man of twenty years, pretty, she is 42 years old. Behind marriage, teenage children, and the same "car love". N fell in love with his trainee first sight. Divorced, tired of being alone, she almost immediately saw myself with him on the same wavelength. And the feelings were mutual in the first months. Then it gets worse.

"I had a very gentle husband. Kind, sympathetic and warm. A very warm person. Until now, the husband wants to come back to me. But I don't need it. We are different. Interests, priorities, values, and even approaches to parenting -- No, I'm not one of those who returned to the past. But my favorite case another. We were together for about a year. He is smart, handsome, handsome. His speech is intelligent, sharp, attractive. But in contrast to the former spouse, it is very hard and even cruel...I still love absolutely unconditional love...Perhaps as a mother loves her child. However I understand that no man was so sexually close to me as my favorite, none was intellectually and intuitively I related, as my man...I read a lot of literature. Both artistic and scientific. And clearly understand that you are willing to deal for him...And turn to psychologists not to forget how they all at once assert, but rather to understand something...Why is so and not otherwise..."

the Reason for their separation is not the difference in age and in the extremely painful reaction of the young man on sexuality women. Talking about the nuances of relationships, showing the surviving correspondence, the girl puts everything on the shelves. Sexist component evident in the presentation of the claim to it: clean out closets mini, neckline, studs, stop to chat with a husband (!) and any man, in any interlocutor he saw the opponent.

Insecure, but flaunt a young man, has repeatedly pointed to the girl on her "inferiority" ("all women are devils!"). And my companion is tolerated, not even trying to resist.

"I loved it. I learned a lot about our feminine nature...His desire to my life, even to take away from this world, society is his wounded inner child, yearning for the mother, deprived of her warmth, attention, love, because of her severe and prolonged disease, and then the birth of other children. And I appeal to psychologists only to build him a constructive dialogue that does not work. Not the proverbial "end suffering".

We talked for a long time... Is it the Collective Unconscious, leading us to each other. Much of what is said N responded me...as well as the fact that the theme itself is a significant age difference with a younger man is perhaps the most acute and painful for me. However, for me the priority is not to save the girl from "dependency", but to give her the opportunity to feel her own uniqueness, charisma, sexuality, and help her to make a choice in favor of "right to be happy."
Hope Arkhangelsk
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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